Nearly 34 months waiting and an update on adoption in general

In 4 days we'll hit the 34 months mark waiting for our little babe. Whew! Seems like we are setting a record for adoption timelines from Thailand in Tasmania, at least. The longest before us was a 28 month wait. Anyhow, nothing we can do about that but ... wait some more ;) Soooo, we wait as long as we need to.

Since my last post, adoption in Australia has taken a small turn. All states have stopped accepting new applications for adoption from Thailand. Thailand Adoption Services report that they have approx 1000 files already waiting to be processed in country - that is, to be matched and allocated - so they are not accepting new files from anywhere in the world, Australia included.

The hope from the adoption community we are a part of is that this will help to give the Thai adoption services staff the space to match and allocate the files that are in country much more quickly and then the program can be re-opened to new applications again.

During April I've been doing a lot of preparation for our future child's arrival. I had put most of this on hold til we actually had a referral but am glad now that I haven't waited. Preparing ahead of time allows me time to go bargain-hunting in a way that wouldn't work if I only had a couple of weeks.

I really wanted to find a great baby/toddler carrier that we could use in Thailand and back home. I came across an Ergo Sport that is flexible enough for me to use as well as Scott (it has extra length in the straps for his longer body and wider shoulders). Thanks to eBay, I found this at a hugely reduced price of AUD$70 (normally $180). It's only been used once or twice and is in perfect condition - fits both Scott and I perfectly!





Also I managed to find durable foam puzzle floor mats to cover our timber floor in the child's play area. Don't want any bumps on our child's precious little self should they topple over at anytime!

A great find on eBay again was a portacot. As we have a little dog who is inside most of the day (and can't be left outside alone - she's only 4kgs and will always be that size) it will be useful to be able to separate the baby from the baby dog should I need to leave the room for a second or so. I could even put our little dog inside the portacot and she actually seems to like it!

31 Months Today :)

There's been a lot of action in Australia lately with referrals from Thailand. When I say a lot, I mean 3-4. LOL. That's a lot for our little Thai adoption program.

Just last night, very late, we had a very excited lady post on our Yahoo group about their allocation from Thailand yesterday. They had waited 33 months for their little boy and he is 2 yrs 3 months old. So this timeframe of 31-34 months seems to be the new 'normal'. We're so ok with that!

On the flip side, Victoria seems to have decided not to accept any more applications from parents adopting from any countries, at least for the moment. I would say, and it's just an assumption, that the more media that adoption gets over time, the more people start thinking that it may be a way they want to grow their family too.

As Thailand has given Australia a quota of no more than 42 (or thereabouts) files to be sent there each year, it's a pretty small program with less and less children becoming available for adoption for a variety of reasons. It's bound to hit this sort of slowdown. Years ago when China tightened the requirements for adoptive parents (income, weight, accepted medical conditions etc) a lot of prospective adoptive parents had to do a rethink. That and the extended wait that exists from China now (I believe it's 5 yrs) make the Chinese program less desirable for a lot of people when previously it had been a rather popular program.

So, thankfully we chose the right program for us at a time that was frought with changes! Today marks our 31 months waiting and we've just recently (in November) celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary.

As much as we want to meet our child just as soon as possible (and there are days when I think I could go a little stir crazy with the waiting) the time has pretty much flown by quickly.

Scott is the picture of patience and rarely expresses any impatience for the wait. He's busy teaching meditation, expanding our vege garden to bursting and of course his 9-5 job too. Recently we've been working on a website for him about Mindfulness Meditation and he's a pretty inspired kind of guy when it comes to his passions.

As for me, I've been slowly working on my website http://www.livinginsmallhouses.com which is starting to show a lot of promise both in the visitors it receives every day and also in the money it generates. The idea of this site was to get it to the point where it was replacing the income we will lose when I'm home with our little one. A nice surprise is that it seems that it will do that and perhaps surpass my expectations!

Anyhow, we're keeping busy while we wait. I think that's been the most important thing to stop us from overthinking this whole adoption process.

Keep your fingers crossed for us ok :)

Kim

Stories from Thailand - a really great blog

Googling this and that to see the varying range of blogs and other websites about Thailand (did I mention we're going there in 8 weeks!) I found this blog.

It's stories on all kinds of topics with one common thread ... Thailand!

GO TO THE BLOG

7 months and counting + one Thai holiday just for fun

OH my! It's been seven months since our file arrived in Thailand. It's passed by unbelievably quickly I'm really happy to say.

Our social worker, *J*, called one morning a week or so ago and excitedly advised us that the Thai adoptions services in Bangkok have acknowledged that our file arrived, that all documentation is in perfect order and commented that all we need to do now is wait to be matched to our little baby/toddler!!!!

This has galvanized us into action and we are planning a fun trip to Thailand for early April 2008 for about 10 days. Contact has been made with Miss Oh (well known and highly thought of within Australian adoptive parents circles) for a bit of guidance on navigating our first few days in Bangkok and then we hope to swing on down to Ko Lanta, Phuket and then perhaps up to Chiang Mai and Chiang Rai to see as much as we can squeeze into that many days.

My head is going round and round with all of the places I'd love to see .. I don't want to waste a minute! As tempting as it is to get straight off the plane and go visit the children in the orphanages, Scotty and I have decided that we don't want to give the Thai Adoption services any reason to doubt our motives and have decided not to go visiting until we go to bring home our own babe. So close! but no dice, we've decided that's the way it's going to be.

A teeny tiny part of me is thinking, hoping really, how wonderful it would be if we meanwhile received our referral in the next couple of weeks. THEN we could be going FOR REAL!!!!!

From my lips to the Adoption services ears :)

Pattaya Orphanage Video (Thailand)

Zhang Empresses. 10 yr old Chinese adoptees living in Sweden. Their story.

"Growing up surrounded by blond, blue-eyed children in Sweden, Chinese adoptees Alice, Mimmi, Nanna and Linnéa always felt different. The girls were adopted on the same day from the same orphanage but – having moved abroad as babies – they don’t speak Mandarin and have no concept of their native country. Now ten years old, they are returning to China for the first time. What will they make of their homeland? A moving look at identity ..."

I watch the first ten minutes of this DVD on Youtube and as far as I can tell, this would be a useful video for any adopted child to sit and watch when they start to ask questions that we adoptive parents just cannot answer. The DVD was only released in Feb of 2007 so it is quite new.

To watch the first 10 mins of the DVD ... go here
To buy the DVD ... go here

Phu My Orphanage, Vietnam. Now where are my tissues ...

What's a girl to do?

Hmmm, what to blog about today ...

It seems that waiting for our baby is coming quite easily (says she who has been waiting, oh, less than two weeks ... har har .. what patience!)

I actually doubt that our file is in Thailand yet. It had to first visit with the Thai consulate (in Australia!) so it's probably still sitting on a desk there. Hmmm, bit more of a wait yet I guess. Every now and then a little voice in my head says "could be any day, Kimbo, any day" and my stomach gives a lurch of excitement. Then I bounce back down to reality and take off those rose coloured glasses. Til the next time.

I've been wondering lately just how busy the Thai program will become now that China's program seems to be a touch overloaded. It will be interesting to watch as there are limited spots for Aussies adopting from Thailand - we don't get carte blanche to send off files.

Korea is down and out at least until 2008 I believe, China's overloaded, Ethiopia has a few more requirements than other programs, Hong Kong seems a mammoth program with hideous, complicated amounts of paperwork to wrestle with (according to our SW), India seems also to have a limited number of children being adopted overseas to Australia anyhow as well as a complicated program to work through, Lithuania is mostly for those of Lithuanian descent and a long-ish process I believe, Colombia is apparently an unknown for the most part, Fiji - nearly non-existent for referrals, South Africa is quite some way from actually starting, local adoption in Tassie is rare-ish, ... I don't know anything much about the Philippines, Bolivia, Taiwan or Chile but they could be interesting options.

I did see a little about the Kenyan program being worked on by our adoption departments here in Australia. I believe they did a recent visit to Kenya to talk over the intricacies. It seems, so far, that this won't be an 'easy' program to undertake, being that they require the adoptive parent/s to live at least 3 months in Kenya with the child before they confirm the adoption can go ahead and the new family can return to Australia.

That would certainly be an ideal situation to find yourself in though, for the child and for the new parents, if one had the financial ability to do so. What an amazing way to get to know the country of your child's birth intimately and maybe even the birth parents/extended family, if possible. I guess this would be hard for 90% of families from Australia though, especially if they have jobs or businesses to run back here at home.

Here I am thinking about our second adoption already and we haven't even brought our first babe home yet! Scott just shakes his head when I start on ...

Waiting parents of children from China

At times I read a little about others who have adopted or are in the process of adoption from China. A lot has changed about the Chinese adoption process since we first started our adoption journey.

From what I can gather, the referral of children from China has slowed quite a lot, starting out last year to have a waiting time of about 7 months to what is now a current waiting time of 18 months. Quite a difference. In this particular month, April 2007, there is a 'rumour' that referrals are only being moved along by two days when normally the CCAA (China Centre for Adoption Affairs) refers close to a month or at the least 2-3 weeks at a time.

The major issues of these parents-to-be seems to be the lack of information they are receiving about why the wait has extended. There are many thoughts on what the reason could be but no-one really knows.

China seems to have said in the past that their priority is local adoptions of children to residents in China itself. That makes sense, of course, however there are other reports of local adoption fees in China being out of the range of a large proportion of Chinese couples who wish to adopt locally. Of course, there are the upcoming games in China and that may affect the wait somewhat. Perhaps a lot of referrals may be pushed through before/if the CCAA close for the games? Who really knows? Not me, that's for sure.

For the sake of all involved, I hope that some information is forthcoming.

Are you a Thai adoptive parent or future parent?

Hi,

In the interest of providing a wide range of information about Thai adoption and local Tasmanian adoption to those visiting my blog and, in particular, couples who are adopting from Thailand, please feel free to send me an email with a link to your blog or website and I will add them to my links section.

Kim

Living in Thailand

My quest to "get to know Thailand" seems to be taking up a lot of hours recently. What with visiting blogs by expats living out their retirement, or even just their lives, Thai locals, adoption blogs, Thai forums and the like, everyday I learn just a little more about what real life in various parts of Thailand is like. Albeit, there are many, many different points of view.

This evening I stumbled across one such blog, written by an expat now living in the north of Thailand, in Isan. Formerly of the US of A, this fellow now lives contentedly as a university professor in Thailand and, from the posts in his blog, seems to be all the better for it.

In the last week I've also been looking at different types of accommodation in Thailand, the ins and outs of buying houses, renting condos, where to stay for shorter trips and so on and so forth, to garner a better idea of the reality of Scott and I living there in future.

It does seem, on the whole, that an Aussie earning Aussie dollars would quite easily and cheaply survive a lot longer on the same amount of money in Thailand than in Australia. Most Aussies are aware of the existing expats in Thailand, it's not so unusual anymore I guess.

Nevertheless, it is enticing, especially since it is most likely our child will have been born there, if we aren't allocated a local child before Thailand refers us a Thai child. Either way, we both have the stirrings of interest there and will more than likely 'go Thai' in a couple of years time for about 3-6 months or so, all things being equal.

We do have to consider Scott's 80 year old mum who we have plans to have come and live with us. There is absolutely no way on this earth that Colleen will ever get on a plane, let alone a plane for 9 hours or so! Therefore, we need to factor this in. All in all, what happens will happen and eventually we will live in Thailand for an extended period of time, whether it's now or in the future ... *shrug*, who knows?

Cheeky Farang

I've been a member of a Thai forum for a while now and thoroughly enjoy reading about different perspectives of those farangs (foreigners) living in Thailand, often with their very own Thai wives (bless their sweet natures!).

There is one guy in particular, the gruff and funny "Cheeky Farang" as he calls himself, talks about his and his wife's life in a small Thai village, a couple of hundred kilometres outside of Bangkok.

You may enjoy reading his take on life but beware, if you're not fond of swearing and a little directness, then this ain't for you ...

From: Thai Photo Blogs

"Ashrita Furman (R) of the U.S. holds a tiger on a leash, at the start of a world record attempt, while skipping at the Tiger Temple in Kanchanaburi province, 120km (75 miles) northwest of Bangkok, February 4, 2007. Furman, 53, officially won a place in the Guinness Book of World Records on Sunday by skipping 5 km (3.1 miles) in 35 minutes and 19 seconds at Tiger Temple in Kanchanaburi province, some 150 km west of Bangkok. To make the attempt more interesting, Furman skipped the first 100m and 75m of the last 100m holding the tiger. Photo taken February 4, 2007. REUTERS/Sukree Sukplang"

Ahhh, the Thai dedication to 'sanook' (rough translation: Fun). There is a great Thai saying that goes like this, paraphrasing here, "If something is not fun, then why do it?"

The source of this info, and the piggys below, is a blog called Thai Photo Blogs, full of excellent and often hilarious info provided a farang (foreigner) living in Thailand. It gives an insight into life in Thailand at base level, not just the stuff you hear on the news at night.

From: Thai Photo Blogs

"In this photo released by China's Xinhua news agency, a dozen of Dongba pigs from Thailand, which are said to be small and agile, compete in a swimming game at a park in Nanchang, in east China's Jiangxi province, on Saturday February 3, 2007."

So cute.

End of Rain Retreat Ceremony

I was reading a little back over our yahoo group's discussion of a month or so ago and I remembered that this was talked about. October was the end of the Buddhist Rains Retreat and it sparked a bit of info sharing from group members, as below ...

October marks the end of the Buddhist Rains Retreat
It began in July.
The annual retreat is an essential part of Theravada Buddhism
(95% of Thais are Theravada Buddhists)
The three-month retreat is a traditional time for men and boys to
enter the monastery and it is also the time for all monks to remain
in their temples (Wat) to study the teachings of Buddha.

Various terms are used to describe this three -month period including
Buddhist Lent and Annual Retreat but more commonly, it is known as
the Buddhist Rains Retreat, this classical term being used because it
more accurately describes its origin.

While the Buddha lived and taught in the foothills of the Himalayas
in northern India, there was a three -month rainy season and Buddha
is said to have initiated the retreat at that time.
The end of the retreat is a momentous time and the Thai people will
start celebrating the event at least a week before the big day.
Offerings of practical gifts will be bestowed and a number of parades
and processions held to mark the occasion.
Awg Pahnsa, the name given to this special day is not just a signal
ending the monks retreat but it also signals the end of the rainy
season and a time for the Thai people to start afresh.

This sounds like a story I've heard about the Buddha instituting this
retreat as, due to the rainy season, there are many more insects about
than normal. As Buddhists practice non-harm to all sentient beings, or
they attempt to, as best they can - (humans; animals - whether
large or very, very small; anything with a central nervous system really)
this allowed them to retreat and stop from harming multiple beings.

If you're not familiar with how seriously Buddhists take non-harming,
here's an interesting story. We had a visiting Rinpoche here a couple
of months ago. His name is Lama Zopa Rinpoche. We were travelling home
after a teaching along the highway at night behind Rinpoche, his
attendants and his driver who is a friend of ours. After a while we
passed their car as they were driving very slowly. Tasmania is
reknowned to have a lot of wildlife on/around the highway and as a
result lots of animals are killed accidentally by drivers. Naturally
our friend was trying to prevent this happening with Rinpoche in the
car! There was already quite a few animals that had been hit by drivers
previously and their bodies lay by the side of the road. Rinpoche asked
our friend to stop when he saw a deceased animal and he chanted mantras
and prayers for the animal's rebirth into their next (and better!)
life. This happened, as you can imagine, quite a few times along the
highway before they actually reached home. What was normally a 20
minute drive took well over an hour. Such is the life of a Lama, whose
compassion for humans and animals alike knows no bounds.

This may sound somewhat strange if you are not familiar with this
practice.

The way we think about it, as it was just as strange to us at
first, is that if it were *you* lying beside the road after being hit by
a car, would you not want someone to honor your life and wish you
well. Or would it seem right if they just left you there without thought
or word because you were already deceased.

That's how important all living beings are.

Wait times for adoption.

From what we have seen in the last 6 months or so with adoptions from China, it makes me relieved that we decided to go with Thailand.

The wait for an adoption referral from China was 6 months between submitting your file to China and receiving a referral of your child. Now, it is 14-15 months and it may get longer. There are many rumours about why the wait has lengthened for China and many other rumours completely to the contrary. No-one knows what is happening now and what will happen in the future. I hope it speeds up for the sake of the children who don't have parents as well as for the parents who are waiting to bring their children home.

Thailand has long been known to have a long wait time. That has been pretty normal over the last couple of years and hasn't changed. So far anyhow. We expect, right from day one, that we will wait at least 2 years from our file going to Thailand until we are referred a child.

Even things with Thailand could change though. Like everything else in life, this can change without warning, countries can close (like Korea) and world events such as terrorist attacks, political situations and the like can have a detrimental affect on the adoption community.

I know our child will probably look nothing at all like this, however I keep this picture on my computer to look at from time to time when I am thinking about our future family. A kind of visual representation of how this will be a reality for us in the near future.

The amazing Chinese women

Tonight I have been researching Chinese women. How they think. What they do in their day to day life. How they view family. Their careers. How they are viewed by their Chinese peers.

Truly these are amazing women. Their history and culture had them placed as home-makers, full-stop. Less than their husbands or other males in their life, even their sons. Certainly not in paid employment.

China and it's women have undergone a lightning speed transformation. When you consider how long it takes for the world to change, China and it's people, men and women, have allowed themselves to expand, contract and expand some more. The contracting may have come from the remains of a few rigid laws and governmental restrictions, or maybe just from their culture and historical background and habitual behaviours.

Whatever the reason or circumstance, with the growth of China's people (and I don't mean the numbers) and the partiality to learning, we shall certainly see more and more amazing examples of Chinese women leading the way with the compassion and generosity that seems so inherent in their people.

So often I find myself wishing more Eastern influence on our jaded Western viewpoints.

China - a background and statistics

Flag ... red with a large yellow five-pointed star and four smaller yellow five-pointed stars (arranged in a vertical arc toward the middle of the flag) in the upper hoist-side corner

Population of China ... 1,313,973,713 (estimated, as at July 2006)

Some background ... For centuries China stood as a leading civilization, outpacing the rest of the world in the arts and sciences, but in the 19th and early 20th centuries, the country was beset by civil unrest, major famines, military defeats, and foreign occupation. After World War II, the Communists under MAO Zedong established an autocratic socialist system that, while ensuring China's sovereignty, imposed strict controls over everyday life and cost the lives of tens of millions of people. After 1978, his successor DENG Xiaoping and other leaders focused on market-oriented economic development and by 2000 output had quadrupled. For much of the population, living standards have improved dramatically and the room for personal choice has expanded, yet political controls remain tight.

Ethnic groups in China ...

• 91.9% - Han Chinese

• 8.1% -Zhuang, Uygur, Hui, Yi, Tibetan, Miao, Manchu, Mongol, Buyi, Korean, and other nationalities.

Languages spoken ... Standard Chinese or Mandarin (Putonghua, based on the Beijing dialect), Yue (Cantonese), Wu (Shanghaiese), Minbei (Fuzhou), Minnan (Hokkien-Taiwanese), Xiang, Gan, Hakka dialects, minority languages