International Adoption from Thailand. Our Family's Choice.

Nearly 34 months waiting and an update on adoption in general

2010-04-30T22:22:00.004+10:00

In 4 days we'll hit the 34 months mark waiting for our little babe. Whew! Seems like we are setting a record for adoption timelines from Thailand in Tasmania, at least. The longest before us was a 28 month wait. Anyhow, nothing we can do about that but ... wait some more ;) Soooo, we wait as long as we need to.

Since my last post, adoption in Australia has taken a small turn. All states have stopped accepting new applications for adoption from Thailand. Thailand Adoption Services report that they have approx 1000 files already waiting to be processed in country - that is, to be matched and allocated - so they are not accepting new files from anywhere in the world, Australia included.

The hope from the adoption community we are a part of is that this will help to give the Thai adoption services staff the space to match and allocate the files that are in country much more quickly and then the program can be re-opened to new applications again.

During April I've been doing a lot of preparation for our future child's arrival. I had put most of this on hold til we actually had a referral but am glad now that I haven't waited. Preparing ahead of time allows me time to go bargain-hunting in a way that wouldn't work if I only had a couple of weeks.

I really wanted to find a great baby/toddler carrier that we could use in Thailand and back home. I came across an Ergo Sport that is flexible enough for me to use as well as Scott (it has extra length in the straps for his longer body and wider shoulders). Thanks to eBay, I found this at a hugely reduced price of AUD$70 (normally $180). It's only been used once or twice and is in perfect condition - fits both Scott and I perfectly!

Also I managed to find durable foam puzzle floor mats to cover our timber floor in the child's play area. Don't want any bumps on our child's precious little self should they topple over at anytime!

A great find on eBay again was a portacot. As we have a little dog who is inside most of the day (and can't be left outside alone - she's only 4kgs and will always be that size) it will be useful to be able to separate the baby from the baby dog should I need to leave the room for a second or so. I could even put our little dog inside the portacot and she actually seems to like it!

Australians warned to avoid Bangkok - Yahoo!7 Travel

2010-02-18T18:20:00.000+11:00

Australians warned to avoid Bangkok - Yahoo!7 Travel

Uh oh! Not again. There are a couple of Aussie families waiting for their travel dates to go and bring home their child from Thailand who are not going to be happy about the change in situation in the major Thai cities. How scary!

I really hope that the situation calms down soon.

Kim

31 Months Today :)

2010-02-04T11:21:00.004+11:00

There's been a lot of action in Australia lately with referrals from Thailand. When I say a lot, I mean 3-4. LOL. That's a lot for our little Thai adoption program.

Just last night, very late, we had a very excited lady post on our Yahoo group about their allocation from Thailand yesterday. They had waited 33 months for their little boy and he is 2 yrs 3 months old. So this timeframe of 31-34 months seems to be the new 'normal'. We're so ok with that!

On the flip side, Victoria seems to have decided not to accept any more applications from parents adopting from any countries, at least for the moment. I would say, and it's just an assumption, that the more media that adoption gets over time, the more people start thinking that it may be a way they want to grow their family too.

As Thailand has given Australia a quota of no more than 42 (or thereabouts) files to be sent there each year, it's a pretty small program with less and less children becoming available for adoption for a variety of reasons. It's bound to hit this sort of slowdown. Years ago when China tightened the requirements for adoptive parents (income, weight, accepted medical conditions etc) a lot of prospective adoptive parents had to do a rethink. That and the extended wait that exists from China now (I believe it's 5 yrs) make the Chinese program less desirable for a lot of people when previously it had been a rather popular program.

So, thankfully we chose the right program for us at a time that was frought with changes! Today marks our 31 months waiting and we've just recently (in November) celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary.

As much as we want to meet our child just as soon as possible (and there are days when I think I could go a little stir crazy with the waiting) the time has pretty much flown by quickly.

Scott is the picture of patience and rarely expresses any impatience for the wait. He's busy teaching meditation, expanding our vege garden to bursting and of course his 9-5 job too. Recently we've been working on a website for him about Mindfulness Meditation and he's a pretty inspired kind of guy when it comes to his passions.

As for me, I've been slowly working on my website http://www.livinginsmallhouses.com which is starting to show a lot of promise both in the visitors it receives every day and also in the money it generates. The idea of this site was to get it to the point where it was replacing the income we will lose when I'm home with our little one. A nice surprise is that it seems that it will do that and perhaps surpass my expectations!

Anyhow, we're keeping busy while we wait. I think that's been the most important thing to stop us from overthinking this whole adoption process.

Keep your fingers crossed for us ok :)

Kim

29 months waiting. Sigh!

2009-12-05T18:46:00.003+11:00

Haha bet you thought I'd given this blog away entirely ... I haven't posted for so long!

Would you believe we're still waiting? It's true, it's true.

Whilst my better half is calm and patient about the whole thing, I've fluctuated through short-lived bouts of frustration to come out with the same end - we can't do *anything* about it so it's not worth pining about.

I've noticed that quite a few of the recent referrals (worldwide) have been allocated at 29, 30 and 32 months so hopefully it won't be too long. With some luck, we won't be the first couple on record to wait the full 36 months that Thailand have said is the new norm. In this case, I'd rather not be a record-setter!

Overall, all of the country's programs have seen longer waiting times and Australia has withdrawn from the Ethiopian program until several new issues are sorted. On the positive side, there are a few files in a new program, the USA. This is one that isn't 'advertised' by the adoption department - I guess that's because it's so new but if you're Australian and you're interested you can read some fairly general information about potential new country programs found on the AG (Attorney General's) website or you can go directly to the breakdown (in PDF format). Once I read what was offered by way of information, the list of prospective countries dwindled to very few in my mind. Most don't meet the Hague requirements and therefore Australia won't have anything to do with that. Alternatively, the lack of some of the countries' procedures and infrstructure and worrying child-trafficking history are greatly problematic from the Australian government's prospective.

As far as I can gather there has been no referrals from the USA program just yet but there are several files there awaiting allocations. I dug for a little info from our local adoption department however there are no timelines given: just that the average age of children from this program is said to be 8 yrs old (with older and younger ones available, although younger ones are not so likely as slightly older children, apparently). Also, there is approx 128,000 children awaiting adoption in the USA, a lot of whom will be African-American. Honestly, this issue of mixed-race children doesn't appear to present a problem to the majority of Aussies who are attempting to adopt as children from most countries will create a mixed race family for us anyhow.

I have high hopes for the program with the USA and will be watching it closely with much interest :)

Meanwhile I hope to report on an allocation from Thailand for us sometime in the not-too-distant future.

Kim

Nativeland is finished and our 25 month anniversary approaches

2009-08-01T12:21:00.002+10:00

I can hardly believe I'm saying this - time has gone so quickly. We have now been waiting for our referral for 25 months, as of the 4th of August 2009.

Relatives and friends and other soon-to-be-adoptive parents who have been waiting with us sometimes assume that we're sad about such a long wait, anxious maybe, even frustrated.

That would be a fair assumption but I have only felt a little anxious for a few days at the 24 month mark. The feeling passed in a short time and wasn't painful ;) so it's all good and hopeful here in our part of the world. Scott is the picture of patience, always has been. I've had to learn how to be patient and,man oh man, doesn't the adoption process teach you that in full measure!

Recently, friends of ours L & G (who live about 15 minutes from here) received their referral of a gorgeous little fellow who I was fortunate enough to see a photo of. Spending time with C's Mum and Dad and another adoptive mother whose family we have a bit of contact with from time to time, drove it home to me exactly how it will feel when our own little cherub is finally revealed to us.

Such excitement and yearning sated, for a little while anyhow, by a series of small, 2D pictures of little C. Finally, a sweet face to put to the dreams and wonderings of a couple of years of waiting.

About a week after visiting and sharing their great news, I was in peak hour traffic on my way to work only to receive a phone call from our friendly Adoption Caseworker, J. To say I nearly rear-ended the guy in the car in front would be an accurate reflection of how surprised I was to hear from J. Rarely do you get to hear from your caseworker during the waiting time as, quite simply, there isn't anything to report unless a referral comes up or you need to do a review (yearly).

But no, J was just needing a bit more detail following our fairly recent review and my heart had to stop thudding with excitement and expectation so I could concentrate on driving safely to work.

In that moment I got another glimpse of what it will be like to FINALLY receive our referral. Kinda cool!

On our Yahoo Thai Adoption list, there has been a little sharing of the recent events at Nativeland (every four years Thailand invites it's adoptees and their families to return to their home country for a cultural visit over 1-2 weeks).

We were told late last year that things can considerably slow down around Nativeland as the majority of Thai adoption staff are involved with preparations for this event. Completely understandable and, from what we hear from those returning from their cultural visit, absolutely a must for adoptees and families who wish to get to know their birth country in a more in-depth fashion.

There were also, to my surprise, a few reported referrals throughout this time. One family in NZ were given a referral after 14 months waiting and travelled to Thailand a couple of weeks later to bring their little one home. From referral to travel is usually 2-3 months so this family experienced very good fortune indeed as well as an early referral time on average. The average these days moves towards 24 - 28 months.

A Victorian couple received a referral also although I don't know anything more about this particular one.

After our long wait, I'm still feeling very positive about the Thai adoption process. We've always felt very comfortable with how Thailand describes the reasons for the wait times to prospective adoptive parents. Their sound reasoning and process gives us the security to know that, wherever possible, Thailand are looking out for their sons and daughters in the most responsible way.

Some day soon, I'll be able to report our own good fortune. Maybe we've already been matched and our referral will come through soon ... who knows?

Wish us luck!

Kim

Found some new Thai Orphanage Videos on Youtube!

2009-05-21T22:40:00.004+10:00

Time goes by quickly ... and yet it doesn't. After 22 and a half months of waiting and no adoptive reading or researching for a long time up until recently, I have started again to search for our little one's face in the faces of every Thai baby/infant on the net.

Who knew it would take this long? Regardless, we're still hanging in there and we're never giving up. Not even if it takes 4 years or more. Gulp. Don't tell the Thai Adoption services that please! We'd love to meet our baby just as soon as possible.

On the flip side, the longer we wait the healthier our savings account gets. That can only be good right?

Anyhow, here are the promised precious youtube videos of children in Thai orphanages that I promised in the title:

20 and a half months waiting for our adoption to become real

2009-03-16T21:54:00.005+11:00

Yep, we're still here. And we're also still waiting.

When you've been waiting so long for a child, like a lot of adoptive parents have these days, each person has their own way of coping. Some responses are anxious and worrying. Others choose to keep busy and not dwell on it. You can go all 'Zen' about it or wonder often about who your child is going to be.

Whatever your choice, it's all part and parcel of the international adoption merry-go-round!

Like the title says, we've been waiting for just over 20 months, meanwhile thinking all the while that we can't possibly have to wait much longer than 18 months. That was the cut-off in my mind anyhow.

So as not to get too wound up about a possible 3 year wait (that's the official word!), I've been flat out growing my travel consultancy business, creating websites from scratch (for myself and others), maintaining and upgrading my Frugal Living blog, preparing stuff for the baby (although that didn't take long) and generally playing sally-homemaker most of the time.

I've also had the pleasure of meeting a few more people in our local adoption community - one of whom has recently received their long awaited referral from Thailand.

After a long, loooong wait of 27 months, I might add. A little boy, 14 months old. Wish I could post details and a photo (but I can't - Thai adoption and Oz adoption laws prevent this until the child is formally adopted back here in Australia) cause this little fellow is the cutest little bug you've ever seen. His Mum, Dad and proud sister have a little while yet (probably a month or two) before they receive their "Notice to Travel" and can set off to Thailand to meet him and bring him home.

Last Saturday this family, another adoptive mum who already has her two boys and I sat around the table drinking celebratory champagne and exclaiming about the cuteness of the little guy. Generally gabbing about adoption, travel to Thailand, the orphanage (Pakkred, in Bangkok), play-dates when they come home (and when we have our bub too) and all sorts of other interesting stuff. It was so enjoyable to make contact again after such a long hiatus.

I had hoped that the next time I posted to this blog that it would be with our referral notice in hand, but next time maybe?

Bring on the adoptions!

Kim

Watch "The Secret" Online Free!

2009-01-17T03:58:00.003+11:00

18 months waiting

2009-01-06T00:15:00.003+11:00

So much for my hunch about a November referral. Wishful thinking I guess.

Yep, we're still "waiting parents". Waiting, waiting, waiting ...

First of all, Happy Belated Christmas and a jolly belated New Year to you all. Hope it was good to you and everyone you love. Ours was quiet, just the way we like it :)

Next year it will be a whole new ball game though. We are planning for a Xmas tree, decorations, wrapped pressies by the hundreds under the tree, big family celebration next year with my Mum, Dad, Brother, Sister-in-law and Sister when we have a baby/toddler to spoil! I love Xmas with kiddos, it's so much more fun when you feel their excitement on waking up to Xmas morning, the anticipation of spoiling them and joining in the ripping of paper off the pressies.

I pedantically updated our Adoption Caseworker the other day to make sure our phone numbers were all there in her file. You know, call this number first, if no answer call that number, if not answering call ... yes, she probably has everything square but could you imagine missing THE most important phone call of our lives to voicemail that forgets to let you know about a message??

Traditionally for Australians, the wait from Thailand is a maximum of 21 to 23 months so we really don't have long to wait at all and we've started planning stuff. Usually we're not big planners and tend to go with the flow and stay flexible where possible.

Lately however I've been rearranging the house, sifting through things that have been taking up space (our house is small!), ruthlessly throwing things out, storing more and mentally using that space for something for the baby, like a change table or a chest of drawers. The cot (that my parents are buying for the bub) is mentally placed beside my side of the bed for ease of middle of the night wakeup calls (wheeee! Looking forward to that. I really am! True story).

Our little dog is just over one year old and perfectly trained now. That was the main thing I wanted to get done this past year. Lottie is a very smart little Havanese who Scott and I both adore. She's so small that she's just like a baby. I'm sure she's going to get a BIG wakeup call when there's something else who's snuggled in our laps where she usually is. Anyhow, she's the perfect little dog now and will sit, stay and use the designated spot to go to the loo. I think when the shock wears off she'll be psyched to have a little person to run around with. She's very high energy and will play and play and play. There may be a toy-hogging issue though. Mad about her toys!

I still can't get the visual in my head about how it will actually be to have our babe to care for 24/7. There is where my shock will kick in ... at least for a short while anyhow.

Right, I'm waffling cause I have nothing else to say that's not completely boring ...

See you on the other side of our referral (hopefully!).

Kim

Elf Yourself this Christmas.

2008-12-18T16:17:00.002+11:00

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Honestly, I just about wet myself watching this Elf Yourself dance that you create yourself with photos from your family.

Here's ours! Have a laugh.

Kim

A Different Kind of Love - is it true?

2008-12-12T15:00:00.005+11:00

This article really tore at me. It's called "Adoption - A Different Kind of Love" and was featured in the Sydney Morning Herald yesterday. It's really well written with no judgements or assumptions made that I can see.

Nevertheless, if you're like me and do not yet have your adopted child (still waiting) it might make you worry.

I've always been a nurture (vs. nature) person and my husband is the same. All of the conversations we have had with each other and with friends and family have been to educate them and us on the importance of not looking at our adopted child in a 'different' way, that they should be treated the same as biological kiddos and therefore just as wanted. The alternative, for us, is unacceptable and we have always been of the mindset that our child will be our child in the full sense of the word. That biological doesn't have a part to play and that it's not going to make any difference anyhow.

These parents in the article, and there are many examples, have been very honest about their feelings towards their bio and their adopted children.

Some are painfully honest (wonder how their kids feel/would feel about reading this??) about how their bio kids are 'more loved' and they would do anything/feel more for the bio kids and not so much in the same way for the Adopted kids. Ouch!

Other parents state how they don't feel the difference at all. They see their kids as their kids, regardless of how they came to their family.

The main difference, from my perspective, can only be in how the parents are wired. Let me explain. We are all different, have different upbringings ourselves, different parenting techniques were what brought us up, we have different ways of approaching human relationships, romantic relationships, how we treat strangers as opposed to how we treat people we know, and whether we take more than we give most of the time or the opposite. All of these subtle historical events (and more) that shape who we are right now, have a part to play in how we then go on to treat our own kiddos and what we teach them. Not that one set of people is "better" than the other, or more deserving of children. We are not clones and therefore can't be expected to have the same life perspectives.

It's difficult to get across the length and breadth of what I am trying to say here (so I hope I'm making a little sense) but my theory on why there differing reactions to our adoptive children is just the above. We are all wired differently, make different and often subconscious choices about how we will approach life. Hence, we have different reactions to the same or similar situations.

I'm open to suggestions and keen to read and talk about all sides of the story but I still can't see that there is one definitive answer to this question of nature vs. nurture.

Now if I could just get my comments link to work so you *could* respond then we could have a great discussion!

Kim
Waiting 17 months for our baby Anytime now, I hope.

Our 16 month Anniversary

2008-11-04T23:48:00.015+11:00

Oh my goodness .. we've been waiting for our baby for 16 months now. What is amazing about this is that it has not felt like that long at all!

I think that as much as we want this child, the announcement of our referral will put us into a state of shock. For so long now, we've just been mosying along as a couple, doing what we do with the minimum of planning, on the spur of the moment and without a care in the world. Although I've never had a child to care for 24/7, I'm guessing that it won't quite be like that anymore.

We are also creeping up on our 2 year wedding anniversary on the 24th of November. Two blissful years - I really have no complaints. My husband Scotty is still the most dear man I'll ever have the pleasure of knowing, patient, kind and considerate in all things. Gush! Well, it's true, you know.

This baby will be the icing on our cake, to coin a phrase.

Earlier on this blog I mentioned that I quit my full time job at Qantas back in July of this year. Even though I know I was lucky to even have a job (what with the state of the world today) I'd always hankered over a business of my own. Something to create from scratch, an accomplishment such as I have never attempted before. Jobs are jobs and they get a little dull after a while so Scott said "just do it!" and I did. I started my own business and even though we're down to half as much in earnings as we were used to, we didn't fall into a hole of debt or disappear off the face of the earth!

We just made do in a more efficient way with Scott's wage. And we're ok and the business is growing slowly and steadily. There have been hurdles with creating a customer base from nothing but that is what is so exhilerating to me. When a new client finds me - through word of mouth mostly, such is the kind of business I have - I am so excited to work with them and help them create the best kind of holiday especially suited to their needs. It's very cool!

Never have I felt more released, more relieved and more creatively charged than I do now. It's weird how long I thought about relinquishing my job, how I agonized about whether it was the right thing to do, whether it was responsible. If my husband was any other man, I might have heard a lot of negative, a fair number of misgivings on the subject. In reality, I received nothing but support, no less than his 100% belief in my ability to grow my own business. All I can say is "what a MAN!"

We were excited to find out that some adoptive parents recently visited their son's orphanage on a return trip to Thailand only to be told that there were 4 children that had been matched recently to Australian parents. Word of the matchings hadn't quite made it to Australia yet (as it takes about 2-4 months for the paperwork on the Thai side to be done before it is advised) so when the couple arrived home in Australia they were able to share their exciting news.

Since then, a couple of months ago, we have heard of 2 new allocations to waiting Australian parents-to-be! Excitement and hurrays all round!! 2 more allocations, at least, to go and maybe, just maybe, we will be one of those lucky ones.

If not, then soon enough it will be our turn.

Another referral from Thailand. Yaay!

2008-08-15T12:59:00.003+10:00

This morning I woke to 15 emails in my yahoo inbox. It could only mean one thing and, YES, another referral to a couple in our Yahoo AusThai group for expectant adoptive parents and adoptive parents who already have their children home. This little boy is 2.5 years old and his parents are understandably overwhelmed at their good fortune. I understand his nickname is Kan. Congratulations new parents :)

There were noises from Thailand that July would be a great month for Aussie referrals and, from their perspective, these are July referrals. They take a while to actually get to Australia as there are lots of things to be done before the referral is sent on.

So, very exciting stuff here in the land of adoption.

I can hear you asking : does this mean we will get our referral too? Well everyone, I truly, truly, truly hope so. We have been waiting now 13 months, 1 week and 4 days. It's not unheard of to have a referral at this stage however I have always had a feeling about November.

It's not anything solid though. It's just a feeling. If we had a November referral we would travel December/January which would be just fine. Actually, anytime would be just fine. If we were told we had a referral and had to travel tomorrow. That's just fine too :)

Anyhow, enough dreaming for a moment. A girl could make herself crazy.

There are clients to book travel for and new clients to bring onboard!

Take care.

Kim

Changing gears for arrival of kiddo number one

2008-08-04T20:08:00.011+10:00

There has been a lot of changes in our life recently. As we inch closer and closer to receiving notification that our child is waiting for us in Thailand, subconsciously I'm planning.

Scotty is the more relaxed, patient and calm type who will take things as they come along. Me, I'm a planner. Thank god that he's the practical one, he grounds me so I don't float away with all of the plans!

In the last 2 weeks we've heard some great news. One couple have received a referral from Thailand after waiting 11 months. Another of our friends has been updating us with news of their little guy from Taiwan - who is doing splendidly having been home with his new Mum and Dad a couple of months now. He's 8 months old, this little one, and I can't wait to meet him and have a little snuggle. What fortunate parents you guys are!

Anyhow, the point to all of this is that things are changing.

Just under two weeks ago I resigned from Qantas after being there just over 6 years. A huge step for me but one that was necessary considering I'd been wanting to put myself into a position where I can be working from home, have a more flexible schedule with our future child in mind but still earn so that our standard of living doesn't dip drastically.

I've wanted this for as long as I can remember, to work for myself, to give employers the old flick.

Then, along came Travel Counsellors, the franchise. All setup for a Travel Agent, working from home for myself but with the support of Head office with the payments, receipting, back office stuff, marketing, ticketing, moral support and numerous other very important facets that are imperative when you're starting a new business. They do everything that's needed except for servicing my clients - that's my pleasure and my speciality! Unfortunately they don't do my tax but you can't have it all, I guess.

So, suddenly I find myself in charge of how much I make each week, free as a bird, able to watch the Olympics (yaay!) and be here to create a really great relationship with my clients, anytime they have need to call me.

This point about creating a relationship with my clients is something that just wasn't possible or encouraged at Qantas. Being in an environment such as I was, the importance was on getting through as many client bookings a day as we could and not so much on the quality of the interaction. After all, we weren't travel agents, we were Reservations.

So from quantity I move into quality. I like it, I like it a lot!

Not to mention I can now cook my husband dinner every night (when I was night shift I rarely got to do that), spend time with our dogs and take them walking up the mountain every day (they love this), I don't have to travel an hour to work every day (we live out of town) and my quality of life has improved immensely. It's the best decision I've ever made in my working career!

I'm loving the difference.

Shameless Plug Ahead :
Need a travel agent or know someone who does?
Call me on 03 62663800 or email kim.magrath@travelcounsellors.com.au

(Even if you're not in Australia, I can still make your booking quite happily and easily!)

Kim

Real mothers

2008-06-28T20:34:00.004+10:00

This evening I've been browsing through some different adoption blogs on wordpress.com and have come across a particularly relevant post for adoption, relating to adoptive and birth mothers who have surrendered their child.

The author writes about 'authentic' mothers. I find this an excellent term to describe 'real mothers'. In fact, I haven't heard a better description.

This post is relevant to children of adoption, of course, but further than that it also incorporates a description that anyone could apply to a biological mother. Giving birth to a child that you then bring up to adulthood by definition doesn't make one an authentic mother. A birth mother and a biological mother for sure but not always an 'authentic' mother.

By personal definition, Authentic mothering for the author (and also for me) has more of an expectation attached to the actions performed and subtle, but highly relevant, mental effect on the relationship between mother and child.

Read for yourself and see what you think ... here's the post

Martian Child - a movie about adoption

2008-06-24T15:38:00.004+10:00

Recently, I've come across a reference to a movie called "Martian Child" with John Cusack.

The short for the movie is below:

If you want to watch the movie, you can do so here ---> free to watch online:

Enjoy! It's a sweet movie so far (I'm a quarter of the way through it)

Kim

"Juno" - a movie about adoption

2008-05-04T22:02:00.000+10:00

10 months today.

2008-05-02T01:41:00.004+10:00

Oh my goodness. I just checked our ticker and we've been waiting for our referral from Thailand for 10 months today!

That time has just flown by :) It feels like just yesterday we were waiting for our file to leave Australia and now we've done all of the paperwork, notarizing and other important stuff, had our file confirmed as arrived at the Thai adoption services office in Bangkok, had our one year review (since our approval from the Tasmanian side of things) and Thailand have confirmed that they have everything they need and all they need to do now is match us with our baby/toddler.

Cool eh!

It's kind of neat that any day now (or maybe in another 10-14 months at longest!) our referral will come, we'll know who our child is and we can set off into the wild blue yonder to bring them home. Then the real fun starts!

I've been exercising all of my mothering instincts on our newest addition, Lottie, our Havanese puppy girl. She has been with us for three months and it seems like just yesterday I was collecting her from the airport, watching those little eyes peering back out at me from her carrier.

Lottie truly is spoilt now. A really mummy's girl too, I might add. Perhaps that has a bit to do with the fact that she is constantly cuddled, petted, walked, talked to and goes everywhere with me.

Speaking of which, she's not a great traveller in the car. You get about 30 minutes into a journey (which is quite common with us as we live about 50 minutes out of Hobart) and her tummy gets upset and, well, you get the picture. All over the car seat - yuck!

Today I bought her very first clothes. Honestly, I never thought I'd do that sort of thing but she's like a tiny child. She weighs 3.1kgs. Anyhow, she looks completely cute in her pink t-shirt (it reads: "I love Mummy") and her little denim jacket AND her warm jumper with hoodie. Not all at the same time of course.

I'll add some pics soon. She's pretty hard to get standing still ... has all of that puppy energy, you know. But anyhow, she's too cute to resist. I DID manage to stop myself from buying that pink velvet dress with frills at the bottom. Scott would have laughed me outta the house. *Blush*.

Maybe I'll get it next time and she can wear it in secret. Tee hee.

Lottie. The most adorable puppy girl in the world.

2008-02-26T23:29:00.007+11:00

I may come off sounding a little demented here. Don't mean to, but ... I'm in LOVE :)

Scott has nothing to fear from this as he's in love too.

We love Lottie! Lottie is our 12 week old female Havanese puppy. She's the most adorable bundle of fur and affection that we've ever met.

Lottie arrived by plane last Thursday and in six days she has become a major part of our lives. She sleeps with us, she snuggles with us, gets carried around everywhere, gives kisses and plays til she drops. She ADORES Josh (our 6 yr old border collie boy) to the point where she is his constant shadow. Her little tail just wags non-stop with glee the moment she spots him.

From the first night with us, she has slept in our bed, right between us, or on our heads (yep, ON our heads), snuggled up to Scott's back or just under my chin with her paw on my face(that just melts me). Never once has she cried at night and she has the sunniest disposition you could ever expect in a baby dog. And she IS our baby, in the true sense of the word.

Lottie's a tiny little thing, although she doesn't look it in her photos being so fluffy and all. She has the most delicate of bone structure which gives you the impression that she needs to be handled with kid gloves.

I spent the first 3 days with knots in my tummy worrying that she would hurt herself, be upset by the long day she spent flying here to us (not on the best plane connections either), worrying if she's missing her siblings and a host of other things ... now, we're just enjoying being enamoured of her and watching her funny little antics, accepting and giving tonnes of cuddles and playing on the floor with her constantly. I actually spent the majority of today playing with her and then wondered where the time went!

Ok, I just realised that this might seem to you that we might be downplaying our existing love for Josh, our border collie, BUT it really doesn't. We adore Josh too the same way that parents love all their kids (these ARE our kids). He tends to be more independent these days, being 6 yrs old and all, and is coping really well with having a puppy 20 times smaller than himself at his heels for a large part of the day. We've started to hold Lottie back from Josh at times as she really is quite enthusiastic about him. He gets his own walks, just like usual, and without Lottie.

I've been reading about the Havanese breed over the past 2 years after seeing a picture of a Havanese puppy in 'Women's Day' magazine. Many a time I've called different breeders on the mainland (there are none in Tasmania and these dogs are quite rare and hard to get ahold of, females especially) to ask about temperament and character. We wanted a dog that was smaller, one who adores kids for when our own human kid comes along sometime in the future, someone that would be non-threatening for Josh and non-shedding.

About non-shedding ... this is a wonderful thing and the main reason Lottie can sleep happily in our bed. She really doesn't shed hair at all! She smells very un-dog-like, more like flowers actually. She doesn't bark or yap except for one (sweet little puppy) bark if she wants to get your attention (or more like Josh's attention) and that's rare in itself.

So here's some more pics of our beautiful baby ...

Elmo Live. Really Live!

2008-02-16T15:13:00.000+11:00

STORK ALERT: Referral from Taiwan

2008-02-12T10:13:00.000+11:00

Did you think it was our referral?? No silly, our referral will come from ThaiLAND, this one is from TaiWAN :)

Our friends-by-adoption, *N* & *A*, a young couple who are part of our small adoption group, are the first of us all to receive their referral! It's a boy, Cheng En, and he's 2 1/2 months old. They are both so excited and happy and overwhelmed and *A* says she cried for two days, she was so happy! *A* says they don't have pics yet as they are going in to DHHS today to formally send back the acceptance letter and then they'll receive their much-longed-for pictures of their little man.

CONGRATULATIONS you two! You are such fortunate people.

I know that most say that the children who are adopted are lucky but the reality of it is that it's the parents who are lucky, lucky, lucky. Apart from the obvious, that all new parents are generally euphoric (whether via pregnancy or adoption), adoptive parents have mostly been through the wringer various times, some have had endless IVF, many have had miscarriages (in the plural) and have sometimes been so close to having their baby only to have it taken away from them at the last minute. Heart-wrenching, to say the least.

Added to that, children whose lives start with adoption to a foreign country are generally the survivors, the tough little nuts that have endured a tough start to their tiny lives, who've endured and actually made it through their first, second and more birthdays. Not all do.

So parents of these children know that, on the whole (and there are exceptions, no doubt) they may have a rocky start with their kids, but they will also have stronger bonds with them over time. If they work at it.

Wisdom in the world, so I've read and heard, says that you don't come upon good, worthwhile and enduring relationships very often, without hard work and effort and a lot of challenges. So the more challenges you face and the more you work at it, the more meaningful your relationships will be. There are many, many stories of hardship, struggle and challenges in the land of adoption that show this to be true. We've heard a few from adoptive parents that would make your head spin and we see how things are now for them - things aren't perfect (but are they ever?) but these families have been through so much together, and have stuck it out, only to come out the other side and receive the benefits for enduring the tuff stuff.

It almost brings me to tears when I think back about those stories. They are quite inspiring and I thank those adoptive parents for being so very open about the most private parts of their lives. They didn't have to be but they know that this helps the rest of us immensely. Amazing!

Stories from Thailand - a really great blog

2008-02-12T10:04:00.000+11:00

Googling this and that to see the varying range of blogs and other websites about Thailand (did I mention we're going there in 8 weeks!) I found this blog.

It's stories on all kinds of topics with one common thread ... Thailand!

GO TO THE BLOG

7 months and counting + one Thai holiday just for fun

2008-02-06T01:27:00.000+11:00

OH my! It's been seven months since our file arrived in Thailand. It's passed by unbelievably quickly I'm really happy to say.

Our social worker, *J*, called one morning a week or so ago and excitedly advised us that the Thai adoptions services in Bangkok have acknowledged that our file arrived, that all documentation is in perfect order and commented that all we need to do now is wait to be matched to our little baby/toddler!!!!

This has galvanized us into action and we are planning a fun trip to Thailand for early April 2008 for about 10 days. Contact has been made with Miss Oh (well known and highly thought of within Australian adoptive parents circles) for a bit of guidance on navigating our first few days in Bangkok and then we hope to swing on down to Ko Lanta, Phuket and then perhaps up to Chiang Mai and Chiang Rai to see as much as we can squeeze into that many days.

My head is going round and round with all of the places I'd love to see .. I don't want to waste a minute! As tempting as it is to get straight off the plane and go visit the children in the orphanages, Scotty and I have decided that we don't want to give the Thai Adoption services any reason to doubt our motives and have decided not to go visiting until we go to bring home our own babe. So close! but no dice, we've decided that's the way it's going to be.

A teeny tiny part of me is thinking, hoping really, how wonderful it would be if we meanwhile received our referral in the next couple of weeks. THEN we could be going FOR REAL!!!!!

From my lips to the Adoption services ears :)

Future adoption changes in Australia

2007-12-27T22:33:00.000+11:00

An article in The Daily Telegraph, headed "Deborra-lee's adoption victory", made the papers in Australia just before Christmas this year. Looks like Mr Rudd is doing some good and really soon after becoming Prime Minister too. GO KEV!

We're cautiously optimistic about what this means for Australian couples who wish to adopt from overseas.

The article can be found here and is copied below:

"ACTOR Deborra-lee Furness and The Sunday Telegraph have won a major victory in a campaign to overhaul Australia's anti-adoption culture.

The Rudd Government announced last week it would create a federal governing body to streamline the system, cut waiting lists and make overseas adoption a "priority".

The Government said while the states would still have carriage of applications, Canberra would establish national uniform regulations, as well as open up new adoption programs with more overseas countries.

A peak federal body of state representatives is also being formed.

"I'm absolutely thrilled," Furness said. "It's the first sign of the new leadership taking charge of this issue.

"This is the beginning - now we have many more steps to go."

It follows a four-month campaign by Furness and The Sunday Telegraph in highlighting the inadequacies of Australia's inter-country adoption procedures. Australia currently has the second-lowest rate of overseas adoption in the world.

Furness brought the issue into the public arena in August when she spoke of the obstacles she and husband Hugh Jackman encountered when they tried to adopt in Australia eight years ago.

The couple endured a series of bureaucratic blocks and an unsupportive Community Services Department. In the end they gave up and returned to the US, where the process of adopting their two children, Oscar and Ava, was efficient and supportive to parents.

Since then, Furness has formed an action group and held meetings with the Attorney-General's department and deputy leader Julia Gillard.

International Adoptive Families of Queensland president Mark Byrne praised the campaign for bringing the issue to the fore.

"We've been pushing for these changes for years but it took Deborra-lee and your paper to make it happen much more quickly," he said.

He said, as the number of local adoptions in Australia continued to fall, the demand from childless couples to adopt overseas would only grow.

A spokesman for Attorney-General Robert McClelland said the renegotiated Commonwealth-State agreement on adoption was being formalised.

"We are eager to work with the states to ensure the best outcomes for Australian families. We are committed to the harmonising of Australia's intercountry adoption practices and reduced waiting lists are obviously desirable," the spokesman said.

Ricky Brisson, who runs Australian Intercountry Adoption Network, wants the Government to allow accredited specialised agencies to take over the role of state DoCS in adoption applications.

Alison Rigby, who adopted orphaned twins from Colombia, said the process was "very drawn out" and cost $80,000.

"I really feel very concerned for people now who are just starting to adopt because there are fewer countries, the age criteria is getting younger, and families are waiting longer and longer," Ms Rigby said.

When she was in Colombia she met couples from the US, Norway and Sweden, who spoke of the ease and tax concessions they were offered by their countries.

Furness said she wanted Australia to bring new countries into the Hague Convention, which would cut the seven-year waiting lists."

Brilliant video from Pattaya Orphanage

2007-12-22T04:26:00.000+11:00

Merry Christmas Everyone. Now Get Elfed!

2007-12-14T02:21:00.000+11:00

Surely it's not that time of year again already! Unbelievable how fast it comes around each year. We're hoping that this time next year we'll have our little babe with us. Having kids around at Christmas time is so much more fun, don't you think?

Anyhow, enjoy your Christmas this year hope you have lots of Christmas cheer that Santa visits and bestows upon you all that you hope.

Don't forget to send my pressie.

You can direct it here: Kim's HUGE Santa Bag, Mr. Santa Claus, North Pole.

Oh, this was forwarded to me by a friend of mine. Very funny. Click below:

Click here to see how I got Elfed

Achmed. You've REALLY gotta watch this.

2007-10-25T01:43:00.000+11:00

This video is called "Achmed. The Dead Terrorist".

It's the funniest video I've ever seen. You'll love it :) I nearly peed myself.

Women in the mens room?

2007-10-23T04:01:00.000+11:00

I love looking through blogs that have funny stuff on them.

This blogger described where he found this picture:

"I've encountered this restroom today. Forgot the pressure entirely, had a big laugh and ran to my car to get my camera. It's in the office building of a software company in the Netherlands. I think it's hilarious."

Clever

2007-10-23T03:54:00.001+11:00

This is a clever, funny way to make a point, dontcha think?

Kudos goes to this blog

Old friends

2007-10-23T03:27:00.001+11:00

A whole month since I've posted. Guess there hasn't been anything much to update with regard to the adoption wait.

It is funny though that the closer we move towards our referral and having our babe home with us, the more I find myself wanting to make contact with old friends who I haven't seen for a long, long time.

Most of my girlfriends are mums too now. Some even have a a number of little mini-them's roaming around! Lucky girls :) The closer I get to becoming a mum myself, the more exciting it gets. I still can't wrap my head around it completely because, as much as I adore kids, it's quite a different thing to know what it's like to have one depending on you day and night.

This month has found me making contact with three girlfriends who have been very dear to me for the majority of my life after a long time of no contact at all. One contacted me via the internet (whatever did we do without internet?) and it was excellent finding out about how her life is going in the UK (and that she's coming to live in Australia soon - double yaay). That prompted me to contact two of my other friends with whom I've not had contact for years (you know who you are ...)

I've lived quite far away from my friends for over five years now and it makes it harder and harder to keep the contact going, with the obvious geographical distance, life, work, husbands, future plans, local friends and, for them, their children keeping a person busy day in, day out.

Nevertheless, it's reassuring to know that, despite the time lapse in speaking to each other, we connect again like no time has passed.

I suspect we'll all see differences in each other as, without a doubt, we're all growing older every day and aren't the same people we were five or ten years ago. In my mind's eye, I see them as they were when we were young, single (or unmarried anyhow), when we were all growing up and going to high-school together. Seeing who their little offspring are turning out to be and getting to know what's been going on in their lives over the last couple of years is quite ... a shock really. A good shock of course.

I guess I should stop thinking of them as 17/18 years old. None of us are that age anymore!

Looking forward to the words of motherly wisdom you may offer when my time comes, girls :)

I imagine I'll need them ... a LOT.

Kim

Near Death Experience

2007-09-23T18:40:00.000+10:00

A man flew to Florida and checked into a motel to await his wife, who would be meeting him the next day after a business trip.

At the motel, he decided to send his wife an e-mail from his laptop computer. While entering her address, he accidentally typed one letter wrong and his note was directed, instead, to an elderly preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before.

When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the message, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint. Her family heard the noise and rushed into the room to find her on the floor and this note on the screen:

Dearest Wife ...

Just got checked in. Everything is prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

Signed,
Your eternally loving husband.

P.S. Sure is hot down here!

Pattaya Orphanage Video (Thailand)

2007-09-03T01:53:00.001+10:00

Our Big Fat Buddhist Wedding Video

2007-09-03T00:37:00.000+10:00

Almost a year after our wedding day I've finally managed to put the wedding video on my blog.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

How long has our file been in Thailand?

2007-09-03T00:36:00.000+10:00

Angy Pangy Pudding Pie

2007-08-28T02:03:00.000+10:00

Zhang Empresses. 10 yr old Chinese adoptees living in Sweden. Their story.

2007-07-28T01:10:00.001+10:00

"Growing up surrounded by blond, blue-eyed children in Sweden, Chinese adoptees Alice, Mimmi, Nanna and Linnéa always felt different. The girls were adopted on the same day from the same orphanage but – having moved abroad as babies – they don’t speak Mandarin and have no concept of their native country. Now ten years old, they are returning to China for the first time. What will they make of their homeland? A moving look at identity ..."

I watch the first ten minutes of this DVD on Youtube and as far as I can tell, this would be a useful video for any adopted child to sit and watch when they start to ask questions that we adoptive parents just cannot answer. The DVD was only released in Feb of 2007 so it is quite new.

To watch the first 10 mins of the DVD ... go here
To buy the DVD ... go here

Phu My Orphanage, Vietnam. Now where are my tissues ...

2007-07-28T00:48:00.001+10:00

A poignant, happy, sad, fun video.

Questions about the next stages

2007-07-27T23:07:00.000+10:00

This info has been found on other websites and is not my opinion or fact - just an overall generality of a situation that can vary quiet widely.

These are some answers to often asked questions about Thai adoptions. I won't say they apply to *all* situations (because I doubt they do!) however the process after arrival in Thailand does seem to be similar, if not the same, for most countries.

Who are the typical children placed? 12-24 month old children or older if requested. They come from various orphanages - some in Bangkok and others in Pattaya and possibly others that I do not know the names. Thailand’s adoption center prefers to look for families or relatives in Thailand to adopt the children, and they typically hold the child for up to a year before moving him to the international adoption list.

What kind of information will I receive on a child? You will receive a photo and some background information, but it is minimal. You will receive medical and developmental information, but it may not be updated. We are working on improving this. The children referred as healthy children are generally healthy, with no known medical conditions.

What are the parental requirements? You must be married; both you and your spouse must be between 25-45 years of age and must be at least 15 years older than the child to be adopted. Families who have no children are preferred, but they have accepted families with up to two children already in the family. Parents are preferred who have a college education.

What is the typical length of the process? The referral of a child can take up to 2 - 2.5 years (for Australians). Completing the adoption will then take 12 months.

Do you submit dossiers direct to the Thai Dept. of Social Development and Welfare (DSDW), to particular Thai child-placement organizations, or to both? Via your local government's adoption services in your state to the DSDW.

Do you work with pre-identified placements of waiting children, or placements of healthy young children? Children are matched by the Thai Adoption services in such a way that the child's needs are placed as a higher priority than the needs of a parent. That being said, the child is referred to the most suitable adoptive parents who can meet this child's needs.

What kind of support do you offer on the ground in Thailand? For Australians, you will find that you meet a Thai Social Worker on arrival in Thailand and accompanied to your child's orphanage for your first meeting. After that, it is generally up to you to navigate your way around for the following 10 days or so. There are several reputable Thai Co-ordinators (Miss Oh is highly spoken of by other Aussie parents who have BTDT) who can assist you whilst in Thailand.

What are the country program fees? The country fees appear to be non-existent on sending your file to Thailand - we didn't pay an application fee at all. Fees for Thailand start when you receive your referral but even then are quite minimal - you will need to cover any medicals that your child will have and possibly (although I have been told that this isn't necessarily the case always) you may pay for sponsorship of your child (food, health, clothing etc) between referral and bringing your child home.

There is a donation to the Thai orphanage that housed your child. I think it is something reasonable like USD$1000 but again it's not a certainty. Our Tassie adoption services really don't do Thai adoptions often enough to be up-to-the-minute with all fees.

There are really far more fees on the Australian side than anywhere else what with Department of Immigration (DIMIA) and things like that.

You will also need to travel within Australia to the nearest Thai Consulate to register your child within 6 months of arriving home and I know that we signed an undertaking agreeing that we will do so. Post adoption meetings for your SW to see how your child is doing start almost immediately after your arrival home.

What kind of information do you receive when you are matched with a child? Depending on your child's particular situation, possibly medical information (height, weight, etc.), his birth mother's name (this is rare) and the circumstances surrounding his placement for adoption. Oh! And a picture. The picture that we all hope and dream about!

What is it like to prepare the paperwork /dossier? The paperwork was very straightforward. Not a problem at all.

How long in advance do you receive notification to travel to

Thailand

and how do you prepare for travel? Anywhere between 3-4 weeks and maybe a bit longer. It doesn't seem too extreme.

EeeBee Baby. The newest craze for babies.

2007-07-17T13:57:00.001+10:00

http://www.eebee.com

Stumbling around the internet, as I do, I came across eebee.com.

It seems to be quite the hit with babies as young as 4 months all the way up to toddlers and involves older siblings, parents and grandparents in the interactive play, singing, exploring, creating. Using household items, the funny little character, Eebee (pictured above), does everything a real baby does, interacts with other babies, sings with his mummy and his nanny and has fun learning things the baby way.

I've order the three DVD's for our future child .. can't wait to watch them for myself and, going by the feedback from other parents, they should be a big hit with our babe too!

If you'd like to see a short sample of what you'll find on the DVD, click here and on the left side, at the top, under the logo you'll see a circle with "Play Video".

Heart-kun. Love Puppy.

2007-07-12T18:56:00.000+10:00

Chihuahua puppy born with love-heart pattern in fur ...

A PUPPY has been born in Japan with a large, clear, love-heart-shaped pattern in his coat.

The chihuahua was born in May as one of a litter to a breeder.

In pictures: Heart-kun, the love-heart puppy

Shop owner Emiko Sakurada said it was the first time a puppy with the marks had been born out of a thousand she had bred.

She had no plans to sell the puppy, which has been named "Heart-kun".

Courtesy of News.com.au

Give that laughing baby oxygen

2007-07-05T04:24:00.000+10:00

Yoda's Baby.

2007-07-05T04:17:00.000+10:00

Package arrives at Adoption Services, Thailand!

2007-07-05T02:11:00.000+10:00

Oh my, Oh my! NOW we're really excited!!!

This here is proof of delivery for our adoption documents that were sent to Thailand via courier ... whoever Kwanta is (see signatory), I'm going to take them a present when we go to Thailand!

Perspective on Teen "Affluenza" by World Vision.

2007-07-03T23:04:00.000+10:00

Official Parents-in-Waiting

2007-07-02T22:46:00.000+10:00

Our marvellous SW advised us via phone this evening that our file has been sent off to Thailand via courier today!

Finally, we are parents in waiting. Now I'm just waiting on an email from our SW with the consignment note number so I can follow along with when the file touches down in Bangkok.

I never thought that we'd get to this stage. It seems so far away when you start the homestudy and attending seminars.

Next stop ... Referral of our baby/toddler!

(It's about 18-24 months away so it will be pretty quiet until that wonderful phone call)

Time, journeys and destinations.

2007-06-20T16:01:00.000+10:00

How quickly a month flies by. Our file is still in Australia due to circumstances beyond everyone's control but eventually will arrive in Thailand one fine day.

If a month can pass by this quickly, before we know it we'll be receiving a phone call to tell us that our baby has been referred to us. Only about 18 to 24 of these quick months to go. How very exciting.

I know that people, including myself at times, say that the "journey is just as important as the destination" but in this scenario it is something quite different. I so want the journey to be short and quick so we can arrive at our 'destination'.

If wishes were babies we'd have a tonne of them by now :)

I recently read a little part of an experience that another adoptive parent shared. She and her husband and son went to Thailand to bring home their soon-to-be daughter only to find that the special needs that they knew about weren't the only special needs she had. Apparently there were quite a few other, quite serious, needs that the little girl had that made the family uncertain as to whether they would be able to meet those particular needs.

They arrived in Thailand with excitement and much anticipation as you would expect. They were going to meet the child who they had waited on, thought about, planned for, dreamed of and talked about for a long time. This is a hard concept to explain to a non-adoptive parent - how an A-parent anticipates the arrival of their child in a similar way that a pregnant couple would anticipate their new arrival. There are the similar emotions, fears, dreams, excitement and planning.

In spite of yourself, while you wait your mind starts moving ahead to the day you will meet, how the child will react to you and your partner, how you will deal with the varying scenarios you may face in a foreign country where you don't speak the language, how you will communicate with your child and understand what they need in those first few harrowing hours and days, all of the great things your family are going to experience together, how much love you have to give to your new child, how their sibling is just as excited as mum and dad about their new sister/brother. This may be your first child or a second or third or more.

This particular family were to be greeted by a situation which no adoptive, or even bio parent, wishes to have happen to them. It makes me wonder how these sorts of scenarios can actually occur. The surprise special needs are often picked up by the A-parents who have just met the child and most parents are not medically trained. The needs seem to be identified by traits and behaviours easily spotted. On visiting the local Thai doctors, in this case, the needs were also easily identified by the medical profession there in the child's own home country so it doesn't seem that this is something that westerners have any special insight into.

Often accompanying the referral of the child is a medical document, whether in Thai or English, that parents can give to their own pediatrician in their home country for their interpretation. It seems that these special needs then were not reported on the medical docs at referral either.

It's baffling to me. I can't even begin to understand why it happens and how it affects any children left behind.

Watch Movies/TV shows online FREE!

2007-06-03T00:29:00.000+10:00

Now here's something interesting that I was told about tonight. This site lets you watch recent movies (some not yet released here in Australia!), TV shows, cartoons, anime, music videos and sport ONLINE, for FREE and NO registration is needed. Just click and watch.

Pretty cool eh. There are no catches. I just went to the site, saw a tv show I wanted to catch up on, clicked on the link and it loaded.

Hey presto. Amazing what you can find on the net :)

What's a girl to do?

2007-05-30T23:31:00.000+10:00

Hmmm, what to blog about today ...

It seems that waiting for our baby is coming quite easily (says she who has been waiting, oh, less than two weeks ... har har .. what patience!)

I actually doubt that our file is in Thailand yet. It had to first visit with the Thai consulate (in Australia!) so it's probably still sitting on a desk there. Hmmm, bit more of a wait yet I guess. Every now and then a little voice in my head says "could be any day, Kimbo, any day" and my stomach gives a lurch of excitement. Then I bounce back down to reality and take off those rose coloured glasses. Til the next time.

I've been wondering lately just how busy the Thai program will become now that China's program seems to be a touch overloaded. It will be interesting to watch as there are limited spots for Aussies adopting from Thailand - we don't get carte blanche to send off files.

Korea is down and out at least until 2008 I believe, China's overloaded, Ethiopia has a few more requirements than other programs, Hong Kong seems a mammoth program with hideous, complicated amounts of paperwork to wrestle with (according to our SW), India seems also to have a limited number of children being adopted overseas to Australia anyhow as well as a complicated program to work through, Lithuania is mostly for those of Lithuanian descent and a long-ish process I believe, Colombia is apparently an unknown for the most part, Fiji - nearly non-existent for referrals, South Africa is quite some way from actually starting, local adoption in Tassie is rare-ish, ... I don't know anything much about the Philippines, Bolivia, Taiwan or Chile but they could be interesting options.

I did see a little about the Kenyan program being worked on by our adoption departments here in Australia. I believe they did a recent visit to Kenya to talk over the intricacies. It seems, so far, that this won't be an 'easy' program to undertake, being that they require the adoptive parent/s to live at least 3 months in Kenya with the child before they confirm the adoption can go ahead and the new family can return to Australia.

That would certainly be an ideal situation to find yourself in though, for the child and for the new parents, if one had the financial ability to do so. What an amazing way to get to know the country of your child's birth intimately and maybe even the birth parents/extended family, if possible. I guess this would be hard for 90% of families from Australia though, especially if they have jobs or businesses to run back here at home.

Here I am thinking about our second adoption already and we haven't even brought our first babe home yet! Scott just shakes his head when I start on ...

Snuggly Hooded Winter Jacket

2007-05-19T16:49:00.001+10:00

My lovely mother-in-law has been knitting furiously in preparation for our baby/toddler. Even though we are some time away from a referral.

I got the idea about a jacket like this from a girlfriend of mine, Prue, who wears these thick woolly hooded jackets with wooden toggles all the time throughout our chilly winter months here in Tassie.

She's done such a fabulous job of the little jackets that she's now made five in total (finishes them in a day or two!), two for us and three for my girlfriends who have all recently had their babies.

Awww Monkeys. Farm dreams too.

2007-05-19T16:04:00.001+10:00

Kudos to this blogger for the cute pic

These are twin Pygmy Marmoset monkeys. They grow to a maximum of 13cms and and weigh not more than 170 grams and are found in the Amazon. I love monkeys of all sorts (one is a main character in my Thai childrens storybook - except he's not exactly a monkey, he's a Gibbon, found in Thailand amongst other places) so often I can be found searching Google images for sweet monkey pics or reading about them if I get a minute to spare.

As much as I ask him, Scott just won't let me have one (and I guess, neither would our Tasmanian government, although I've not checked). Spoilt sports.

I'm a little obsessed with an idea that floats around in my head and has done for years. Scott and I intend to, eventually, own a good few acres. On those many acres I'd dearly love to have a barn just for my animals to live in. All sorts of animals - alpacas ... sheep ... monkeys! (yeah right) ... chickens ... my Havanese puppy ... old homeless cats from the pound ... a cow or two ... all hand-reared and living in harmony ... (sigh) ... yes, I know I sound like a loony but nevertheless how much FUN would our child have growing up with lots of animals around to love and care for.

I was bought up in a city. My extended family, most of them anyhow, live on the Darling Downs in western Queensland, in places like Dalby and Toowoomba and Roma so regularly throughout the year we would spend a bit of time with them. In particular when I was early teens I would spend weeks of my school holidays out with my Grandma on her farm an hour outside of Injune, Queensland - just Grandma and Poppy and I. I remember when I eventually came home, I'd cry and cry for days cause I missed her and the farm so much. Mum didn't know what to do with me. It would happen *every* time I came home. I'm sure she wondered how she'd ended up with this sooky child who wanted to live with her Grandma in the country.

Grandma showed me how to milk cows (I'm sure I couldn't do it now and I'm not even sure I got the hang of it then either), she'd cut the head of a chicken and let it run around the yard to show me how they can live even with their heads chopped off (funny at the time, cruel in retrospect) then she'd kill them and have me participate in taking their yellow, fatty guts out (no guesses why I'm a vegetarian now hey) before cooking them for our dinner.

I'd ride the little motorbike up and down the dirt roads for miles around their property, snuffing it regularly in the middle of nowhere and wondering how the heck to get it started again. I'd walk the dirt roads for over an hour from Grandma's house to my great Aunt's place to visit, stopping in at the waterhole to swing from the rope over the river (never had the guts to let go though). My great Aunt and Uncle had, and still have, thousands and thousands of head of Brahman bulls on their massive property and my second cousins, Trevor and Denis, would take me out on the back of their motorbikes to go see everything and we'd go build fences (boring: especially when you are 13 yrs old and have zero strength to do anything useful) and herd the cattle here and there.

The neatest thing was that my Great Aunt rode the motorbikes and herded cattle just like the men did and she still does that to this day. Imagine that hey!

Anyhow, I guess all of this in it's way has shaped my move to Tasmania, our move down to the country outside of Hobart and our future dream of having a farm of our own. Scott is a country boy anyhow, grew up in the middle of nowhere in a mining camp with country, mountains, rivers and adventure all around him, he camped with his brother-in-law (who was quite a bit older than Scott as he was growing up). So he knows all of the practical stuff about living the country - useful!

How did I start with monkeys and end up with farms?

It's now out of our hands.

2007-05-18T22:48:00.001+10:00

The process, as we know it, is now out of our hands and in the hands of the officials who will, in their own ways, play their very important part in creating our family.

Today at 3pm, we handed over all of the docs for notarisation and to finally be sent off to Thailand, with short stops at DFAT and the Thai consulate.

So now what do we do?

We wait. And wait. And hope. And have lots of dreams at night about our future child it seems. I have never had so many dreams that I remember when I wake up as I have been having in the last two weeks. The dreams involve children of various ages, some are Asian and some are Caucasian. It seems that my mind is trying to figure out how to put a face to our little babe.

Funny. I don't sit and consciously think about it all day long, or even for a long part of the day at all. Of course, sometimes I drift off into a daydream but then there's usually other things to do that take up my attention, work, housework, friends, family, my book, discussions with Scott, and all of the things that you do in your everyday life.

My subconscious must be working overdrive though.

Pumpkin hat.

2007-05-18T21:49:00.002+10:00

Another Mum waiting for her babe from Thailand, Andrea from New Zealand, has revealed a secret talent. Knitting hats for babies! But not just ANY cute little hats, these are Gooseberry (or in our case Pumpkin) hats!

I immediately contacted Andrea to request one for our very, very own baby/toddler and she has kindly created the most amazingly colourful, beautiful knitted bubs hat.

Now my mother-in-law, who has been madly knitting outfits for our babe, will just have to knit a special little outfit to match the cap.

After all, one does need to have the perfect outfit to go with a perfect knitted cap, doesn't one!

P.S. Already this evening, I've received an enquiry about another mum who'd love a pumpkin hat for her friend's baby ... if you'd like to contact the creator, Andrea, she can be emailed by clicking HERE ...

Docs to DHHS.

2007-05-17T23:16:00.000+10:00

I'm really tired and have an early start so this will be a short update only.

We're meeting with the gentleman who will Notarise our documentation tomorrow. After that, they'll be bound and sent to DFAT (Dept. Foreign Affairs & Trade) who apparently will return them around 48 business hours later, at most. Then they'll zoom off to the Thai consulate in Melbourne for a 10 business day turnaround.

And finally! I am happy to say that they will then be jetting off to join a pile of adoption dossiers in the "Dept. of Social Development & Welfare", Bangkok, Thailand.

I added the little blue elephant tonight to the top, right hand menu bar over there ---------------------------->
because he's a great expression of the 'happy dance' that I'm feeling at getting to this stage.

Somehow, in my fuddled little mind, I might have expected that someone could find a reason why we weren't suitable adoptive-parents-to-be. That we'd be vetoed for some bizarre reason. I said as much to *J*, our SW, today when we met to check over the docs.

*J* just looked at me, shook her head and reassured me that everything will be ok. That's the value of a great SW. Sees your fears and says just the right thing. Thanks *J* :)

Can anyone say $30 million.

2007-05-17T23:04:00.000+10:00

Tonight's Powerball was a Jackpot and was won by one person. Yep, all 30 million smackers for one small human being.

The first thing that came to mind was "Amazing! Imagine how many adoptive parents who could easily cover their adoption expenses with THAT amount of money!!! Divide $30,000,000 by $20,000 (roughly average for the most expensive of adoptions that I know about, China) ...

that's 1500 families fees covered and home with their new babies :)

Well, maybe I'm not being totally truthful. I really imagined how many tim tams that would buy me. Maybe even buy me one of those tim tam genies I saw on TV.

Does that make me greedy?

2007-05-07T23:28:00.000+10:00

Small update: Our file is mostly prepared now and when the last two items arrive, one passport and one letter of employment, then it will be sent and we will be in waiting mode.

There's not much happening at the moment - with the adoption or with anything else. We have no special plans to travel to Thailand just yet for an exploratory trip but perhaps by the end of the year we'll know better how we can fit that into our plans.

I guess a small part of me is hoping, wishing, for a speedy referral. I know, I know, it's probably going to be 18 months to 2 years before a referral realistically arrives but a girl can hope, can't she?

Rare Birds. Super Gifts.

2007-04-22T21:49:00.000+10:00

Designer Dish-washing gloves

Twig Sip-and-Stir. Long twig-like straws with a spoon at the end.

Onion Goggles. I ALWAYS cry when chopping onions. How cool.

Every now and then I just wander aimlessly around the internet, following a link here and a link there, then I go off on a tangent and find myself reading about something completely unrelated to what I first started looking for.

Do you do this too?

Today was no exception. And I ended up finding the coolest blog ... Rare Bird Finds. I love these kinds of blogs - they find out all of the neat new gadgets and gifts that are brought out and put them on their blog so that we can all read about them. The pics above are only a teeny tiny sample of things they have to offer. They're not all kitchen-y either.

I love 'em. Great spot for ideas when you need to buy a pressie for someone who is very hard to buy for.

Check them out. There are sooo many great things.

Am I becoming a house-frau?

2007-04-21T00:52:00.000+10:00

For those of you who know me well, you'll know I don't cook. Not that I *can't* cook. Just that I choose not to. Lucky for me, I can continue to eat because Scott does the cooking. And MAN, can that boy cook!

These last couple of months however have seen a shift in my kitchen activity. I've discovered a great site that I have been religiously trying recipes from. It's called VegWeb and it's fab full of ideas for vegetarians like us. These people are serious about their cooking and best of all, the recipes don't require unobtainable ingredients like the root of a Native American bean plant or freshly-milked-just-an-hour-ago goats milk.

Years ago, pre-vegetarian state, I wouldn't have touched a red kidney bean with a pole at a hundred paces let alone eaten silken tofu or tried soy milk. These days I know better. They're not so scary - the ingredients I mean, although vegans (def: they eat nothing that comes from anything with a face) can be scary at times.

Vegetarian food, I've discovered, isn't just lentil pies and unpalatable tofu stirfry. The recipes include a myriad of herbs and spices cleverly combined to create a delectable and highly edible and interesting range of dinner menus. Added to that fact, is the other fact that these tasty, high protein meals digest rather quicker than a hunking bit of meaty steak.

It really does make a difference in how you feel after you've eaten. No longer stuffed to the gills, you find you need less to make you feel 'full' and you have more room for chocolate after.

Ha. That's my secret. Damn, now it's out, isn't it.

This week's recipes:

Olive & Rosemary Bread (my absolute fave bread ever - so tasty and fragrant)
3 cups plain flour
¾ tablespoon of bread improver
2 tsp sugar
1 tsp salt
1 sachet (8g) instant dried yeast
¼ cup olive oil
1 ¼ cups luke warm water
1/3 cup pitted black olives, roughly chopped
2 tablespoons fresh rosemary spikes/leaves
2 tsp coarse salt extra.

Combine flour sugar yeast and salt in a bowl and pour the water and oil into a well in the centre. Stir to combine ‘til it comes together and turn out and knead for 4-5 minutes. Place in a lightly greased bowl, cover with cling wrap and stand in a warm place for an hour or until doubled in size. Inch it back and knead again for a few minutes and form into a rough rectangle on a tray lined with baking paper. Stud the olives and rosemary over the top and leave to prove for 30 minutes. Brush the top with a little oil, sprinkle the extra salt on top and bake at 220°C (fanforced) for about 15 minutes or until golden on top.

Spinach Artichoke Dip

Ingredients (use vegan versions):

1 package of organic frozen spinach
1 small onion
1 clove of garlic
1/3 to 1/2 red pepper (depending on taste)
1 and 1/2 16 oz packages vegan cream vegan cheese (Tofutti is good)
1/2 cup vegan mozzarella ( chopped and shredded)
3 to 5 artichoke hearts
dash of garlic pepper

Directions:

Defrost and drain the spinach well. Saute the chopped garlic clove, chopped onion, and chopped red pepper in a pan. Chop up the artichoke hearts. Mix all ingredients together.

Place in an oven safe dish or hollow out some pumpernickel bread and place inside. Bake on 325 for 15-20 minutes.

Note: the more vegan mozzarella you use the longer it needs to bake in order to get the vegan cheese to bake. Alter the amounts of vegan cheese depending on what you prefer.

Tom Yum (Thai Tofu, Coconut and Lemongrass Soup)

Ingredients (use vegan versions):

1 1/2 pints vegetable stock
14oz coconut milk (tinned is fine)
3 tablespoon chopped coriander
1 large onion chopped
3 cloves garlic crushed
1 or two fresh chillies chopped and deseeded
1 tablespoon groundnut oil
250g tofu cut into half inch cubes
2 stalks lemon grass peeled and bashed
8oz tomatoes (tinned is fine)
half a cup dry Thai jasmine rice, cooked

Directions:

Place rice in rice cooker (or just cook rice). Place cubed tofu on a lightly oiled baking pan and bake in a medium oven for 20-30 minutes, turning occasionally.

Meanwhile, sauté onion, garlic, lemon grass and chillies in oil until onion is cooked through. Add tomatoes, stock and coconut milk, bring to light boil and then simmer. When tofu is cooked, (it should be a bit dried out and maybe starting to brown a little), remove from oven.

Fish out the lemon grass stalks and discard. If you have a handheld blender, whizz the soup until smooth (optional). Then add the tofu and coriander.

Spoon some rice into a bowl and top with the tom yum and serve.

Wild mushroom polenta

Ingredients (use vegan versions):

1/2 cup Portobello mushrooms, chopped coarsely
1/2 cup Oyster mushrooms, chopped coarsely
1/2 cup Shiitake mushrooms, chopped coarsely
1/4 cup dried Porcini mushrooms
1 cup medium ground yellow corn meal (polenta - yellow stuff)
4 cups vegetable stock, warmed up
1 clove garlic, minced
1 shallot, chopped finely
2 tablespoon olive oil
Sprig of parseley and thyme, chopped finely.
Salt & Pepper

Directions:

Soaked dried porcini in 1/2 cup hot water for 5 mins. Saute shallot and garlic in large med. deep pan with olive oil over medium heat. Grind peppercorn over the pan. Add mushrooms and toss in parseley and thyme. Cook mushrooms until liquid has evaporated. Add salt. Add 2 cups of stock to the pan, then pour corn meal slowly while stirring. Once corn meal is evenly mixed, continue stirring for 10 minutes. Add more stock if necessary. Salt and pepper to taste. Remove from the heat and transfer mixture into a shallow cake pan. Bake in 375F pre-heated oven for 5 minutes until the surface feels crusty. Remove and serve in small squares. Note: Polenta can be refrigerated up to 5 days. Best served with salad. Bon appetit!!

Hooray. We're on our way. Approved for Adoption.

2007-04-18T02:09:00.000+10:00

Well, the first major step in our adoption has now been completed and we have the all-important Letter of Approval from the Tasmanian/Australian government that we need to be able to send our file to Thailand.

We have most of the documents together - except passports which will come within the next 2 weeks - and then the file will be "notarised" and then sent off to the Thai consulate in Melbourne for "verification". At least I think that's how it goes. As far as I know, this means that the documents are checked to make sure they are original copies and not fake ones (*gasp* as IF!)

From now we'll be getting our house in a child-proof state complete with toddler gates etc, work our butts off to save as much money as possible before we receive our referral, learn some Thai conversation, stock up on baby stuff (not clothes just yet unfortunately), get a bigger car that will fit baby, dog, us, camping stuff and other paraphernalia all at the same time. The current car just doesn't cut it.

I can't stop thinking about the surprise phone call we're going to get. Knowing my luck, we'll be out of state or camping somewhere where our phones don't work and we'll get home a week later and the message would have come from the DHHS half an hour after we left home for our camping trip. AAAArgh!

Keeping our kids safe.

2007-04-15T01:47:00.000+10:00

http://www.pollyklaas.org/safe/pdf/PKF_SK_2005_all24pages.pdf

I found this document tonight while I was wandering around a Thai forum that I frequent.

It gives lots of useful ways to teach our children to be safe from people who would seek to do them harm. It's actually titled "Child Safety Kit - Teach Abduction Prevention without scaring your child (or yourself!).

It has a lot of useful tips in there to keep them safe in all sorts of situations - from being lost in a supermarket or other public area, what to do if they're lost, eluding potential 'predators', who to talk to and who not to talk to and how to identify 'safe' people.

I thought it was very relevant considering the alternative. Often it is something that we think just won't happen to us, or our kids, and that this sort of thing only happens to others. Consider the possibility that it *does* happen to you.

Wouldn't you rather educate your child to limit the possibility? I definitely will :)

Phyathai Babies' Home

2007-04-13T02:15:00.000+10:00

http://www.bangkokpost.net/outlookwecare/28Aug2001_out75.html

The link above leads to an article on the Phyathai Babies Home in Thailand from 2001.

Over 300 kids live at the Phyathai Babies Home, which is always in need of donations, goods, and volunteers, not to mention adoptive and foster families.

http://www.phayathaibabieshome.com/pbh/default.asp

Name of organisation: Phyathai Babies' Home
- Contact person: Nonthinee Petpaisit
78/24 Phumwet Road, Bangtalat, Pakkret, Nonthaburi 11120 Thailand.
Tel: +66 (0) 2584-7254-55 Fax: +66 (0) 2584-7264
(from what I hear it is best to call this number at around 1pm Australian E.S.T. to get staff in the office)

Bank account information for donations: Thai Commercial Bank, Ramathibodi branch
Account Name: Phyathai Babies' Home Foundation.
Savings account number: 026-2-28911-5

Those who want to give donation should contact the orphanage first for specification of goods - powdered milk, nappies, toys, books etc.

Those wanting to volunteer for the Phyathai Babies' Home may contact the Non-Governmental Social Welfare Promotion Division on 02-281-3199 ext 660.

Those interested in adoption can contact the Child Adoption Centre on 02-246-8651 or 02-247-5084.

PCOS + Getting rid of it.

2007-04-10T00:00:00.000+10:00

I've been doing a bit of research recently on PCOS. I have it now and I suspect I've had it since I was 15 years old as I have the same symptoms now as I did then. I'm 32 now and sick and tired of the side effects of having this annoying condition. I won't go into detail. It's too much information..

Many, many times I've been to the doctor and the gyno however almost always they prescribe a light version of the pill. This has never really sat well with me as I dislike using the pill as it does not address long-term regulation of PCOS, it addresses a short term 'fix'. Everyone knows that you shouldn't take the pill over a long period of time so it's kind of a bad suggestion as I see it.

Anyhow, there has been much in the news and online recently about addressing the regulation of insulin to combat the issue that causes this condition. Never wanting to buy the pills and potions that claim to be able to rid you of PCOS, I've put off doing much about it and just suffered along like other women do. I certainly don't go to the doctor/gyno for it anymore as they haven't got a clue or they just haven't researched in detail for themselves to find a way to actually help their patients who have it.

Tonight however I found a system of management for PCOS that may actually be useful. It makes sense to me that it is not just a "one pill" system and that it doesn't promise that magic will occur in a short period of time.

The only thing that concerns me is that I don't want to get pregnant. Scotty and I are very involved with our adoption process, on an emotional level, and are very ready for our child to arrive so we would be disappointed if something were to interrupt that plan. We have never believed that having a bio child is desirable over having an adopted child. It is just not necessary for us as a couple. As a women, I have different thoughts to a lot of other women on this point. A friend or two, who have their own bio kids, have expressed their desire for me to 'experience pregnancy and childbirth'.

Needing to step lightly here as not to offend, I will just say that this is only my personal view and not a judgement on those who have/want to have bio kids of their own ... this reflects to me that one's own personal desire (to be pregnant and experience birthing) is more important than the needs of a living, breathing child (already in the world) having a family of their own when currently they do not. I just don't think my own experience of being pregnant is important when there are children in the world who I will love just as much as a bio child from my body. The fact that our adopted child will not look like us in any way or who does not share our 'genes' is not even a consideration I feel is of importance.

Scott and I have talked long and often about this fact prior to starting our adoption. This is not a decision that we make with any intentions of 'saving' anyone or being 'honourable' or 'kind-hearted'. I abhor those sentiments intensely - how egotistical they are.

'It's every child's right to have a family, a home and the unconditional love of a parent/parents' ... that is our opinion and if we had the financial capability, we would adopt quite a few more children before our family was complete.

I digress ... I don't want to be pregnant was my point and all that, as above, is why. I just want to be free of unpredictable cycles. There are so many women in the world who have PCOS and just live with the symptons every day. Granted, it's not cancer or anything serious like that.

It's just freakin' annoying and, at times, painful and if I can get rid of it or minimize it, I will.

Metro Dad.

2007-04-08T01:11:00.000+10:00

This evening in my blog wandering state, I stumbled blindly across Metro Dad.

Oh dear. What a guy. He warrants a whole plethora of Emmy Awards for his wit. I want to give him endless standing ovations for his prose, his 2.5 year old bi-polar Peanut, stories about a neighbourhood child and endless, endless wet-your-pants humour.

Enuf said. Over to you Metro Dad.

Waiting parents of children from China

2007-04-07T21:56:00.000+10:00

At times I read a little about others who have adopted or are in the process of adoption from China. A lot has changed about the Chinese adoption process since we first started our adoption journey.

From what I can gather, the referral of children from China has slowed quite a lot, starting out last year to have a waiting time of about 7 months to what is now a current waiting time of 18 months. Quite a difference. In this particular month, April 2007, there is a 'rumour' that referrals are only being moved along by two days when normally the CCAA (China Centre for Adoption Affairs) refers close to a month or at the least 2-3 weeks at a time.

The major issues of these parents-to-be seems to be the lack of information they are receiving about why the wait has extended. There are many thoughts on what the reason could be but no-one really knows.

China seems to have said in the past that their priority is local adoptions of children to residents in China itself. That makes sense, of course, however there are other reports of local adoption fees in China being out of the range of a large proportion of Chinese couples who wish to adopt locally. Of course, there are the upcoming games in China and that may affect the wait somewhat. Perhaps a lot of referrals may be pushed through before/if the CCAA close for the games? Who really knows? Not me, that's for sure.

For the sake of all involved, I hope that some information is forthcoming.

Preparing our file to send to Thailand

2007-04-05T21:52:00.000+10:00

Many of those who know we are adopting ask "any news yet?" in the hope that we have been referred our child. We wish it were that quick but, alas, there is still more paperwork to go.

Let me explain a little about what happens from now until we receive referral of a child ...

1. We will shortly receive the formal approval letter from the Adoption services department in Australia. Not to count our chickens before the letter arrives (or risk jinxing ourselves) but we have been verbally advised that we are approved as suitable adoptive parents from Australia's point of view.

We are over the moon of course and it's been a totally painless and actually very pleasant experience with thanks to the efficiency, experience and compassion of our caseworker *J* and the Director of Adoption Services here in Tasmania, *U*, who is very hands on in preparing her future adoptive parents to be ... well, adoptive parents.

Much time and effort is put into making sure we all understand what we are to be facing in future. As much as it would be nice to think it's all roses and sweetness, it's also going to include some trying and difficult times, given the start our child would have had and the many upheavals he/she would have been through so far.

2. The "List" ... of documents we need to send to Thailand and other important things we need to do with said documents. This file of documents will be sent off to Thailand sometime in April 2007, all things being equal. We have organised 90% of the docs already.

(Note for future parents to be: this is the list as supplied by Tasmanian Adoption services however it can (and does) change depending year of application, the state/country you are adopting from and your personal circumstances and may not be exactly the same for you)

Completed Thai application form - witnessed and signed by public notary.
Full original copies of birth certificates for both of us.
Full certified original copy of marriage certificate.
Certified copy of divorce decree - notarised by public notary.
Statement of infertility from medical practitioner (that's me and PCOS).
Statement of occupation and income on employer's letterhead for each of us.
Statement of willingness to register the adoption with the Royal Thai Embassy in Canberra once the adoption is on it's way to being finalised. This means a plane ride to Canberra (no Thai Embassy in Tassie)
Personal references commenting on character, family life, ability to care for a child from Thailand.
Police conviction check.
Photographs : 4 passport size of each of us and a separate sheet of photos of inside/outside of our home.
Personal letter to Adoption Services in Thailand requesting placement of a child. Short version in formal style around 2 - 3 paragraphs. Signatures witnessed by public notary.
Copy of each of our passports, also notarised by public notary.

3. Verification by Royal Thai Embassy: After we have compiled all of these things, which I'll do in the next two weeks (have 90% done already!), we'll motor on in to the DHHS and they will collate and check our handiwork, add their own homestudy report and send the lot off to the Royal Thai Embassy for verification.

Once verified, the file will be sent back to the DHHS to be sent, via courier, to Thai Adoption Services, Bangkok, Thailand.

4. We wait. And hope for a speedy referral.

We learn some basic Thai to be able to interpret and communicate with our child when the big day comes. We build cots (or my dad does). We baby-proof the house (and look for a house to buy that's bigger). We send positive energy off to Thailand that everything will go smoothly and that there are minimal bumps in the road (and that the current political atmosphere in Bangkok settles down a lot).

5. The Call ... One fine day, we will receive a phone call. We won't know it's coming because there are no timeframes for referral of a child from Thailand.

The adoption services there considers that it's more important to match the needs of the child with the most suitable parents for this particular child (we fully agree on this one) so one's file could languish in the adoption services offices in Bangkok for up to 2, maybe even 2.5 years, before we hear. Or, more exciting to think about, it could speed through and be matched pretty darn quickly. I love reading those stories! The quickest I've read about is 1 WEEK! Imagine that. I think I'd probably think our caseworker was having a joke at our expense if she called us with a referral after one week. Or even one month.

We will be advised of our child's sex, name, age, weight, height as well as whether they live in an orphanage or with foster parents and whatever other details are known. If we're lucky, we'll receive a photo. That's pretty normal from what I understand.

The other details depend a lot on the child's circumstances and what is known of their history. Some are just abandoned with no note, no information, not even a birthdate, maybe left in a market or on a street for someone to find and take to an orphanage. We won't know until we are told. If it is even known.

The particulars of our child's circumstances will not be shared with anyone and will be known only by Scott, myself and the adoption workers and our child, of course. We consider that, although people will be 'curious' about our child's story, that curiosity is not a justified reason for sharing such personal, and often painful, information. That is for our child to share when they get older, IF they choose to.

6. Accept referral of child by sending a letter back to Thai Adoption Services. From this point on, it will be very hard for us not to just jump on a plane and go meet our baby. We know who they are, we know where they are, we know how old they are and what they look like. I know Scott will be calm and patient but will I?

7. Await advice from Thailand that we are able to travel ... there are many things to be done on the Thai side of things before we can jet over to meet our child. Many medicals, visa applications, passport, setting a date for the Board Meeting in Bangkok (every second Wednesday are the only days they have these mandatory meetings), preparing the child to meet his/her new parents by showing them photos and giving them the care packages we will immediately send as soon as we have accepted the referral. And probably a myriad of other things that are organised also that I just don't have a clue about.

8. Travel Advice Arrives from Thailand ... well, happy days!, we will then be able to book our flight and just as soon as we can pack (I can be ready in 1 hour) we can fly, fly, flyyyyy to meet our baby.

9. Arriving in Thailand :

Touchdown in Bangkok.
Meet Thai Adoption Services Social Worker.
Go to Orphanage/Foster home to meet child.
Spend a week (roughly) getting to know our child and ensuring they are reasonably comfortable with who we are. About this .. this can vary from child to child. It means that the first day we could just go and play with them and then go back to the hotel for the night. Next day we could go and play for a bit longer, feed them, interact more. Next day, take them for an excursion. Next day they could be ready to come with us for good. OR they could be ready and willing to come with us from day one, like one little fellow that we know who had his backpack ready, waited in the lobby of the orphanage from 6am til 11am when his mum and dad arrived and just didn't want to leave their sight ever again!
With our child, attend the Board Meeting in Bangkok to formalise the adoption.
Soon after we will be given our child's passport and visa for travel and we are free to return home. However, we plan a shortish stay up north in Hua Hin at a resort there for swimming and relaxing together as a brand new family, free of the pressures of cooking, cleaning etc. for at least a few blissful days. On second thoughts, who am I kidding? I don't cook and clean anyhow. Well, not much ;)

10. Homecoming ... return home to Australia and settle into our lives together as a family. This will be a quiet and low pressure introduction for our little one into a brand new culture, smells, sounds, food, environment, family and we'll be laying low until they become a little more grounded and are feeling safe with us. Then, gradually, we will start to introduce one or two new people into our lives (grandma, grandpa, aunties, uncles, friends).

Whilst the homecoming will be super exciting for us, we will need to put off the excitement for our young one as it could all be too stimulating and overwhelming for them. Slowly, slowly, will be the motto.

If you've made it from the top to the bottom of this looooong post, kudos to you and thanks for visiting.

Kim xo

Tickle Me Elmo entertaining some little Thai kids.

2007-03-31T23:40:00.000+10:00

Elmo has the effect on people, doesn't he :)

Final Homestudy Meeting complete.

2007-03-31T21:29:00.000+10:00

Yesterday marked our last homestudy meeting. Yaay! We are on our way now and our file will be off to Thailand within the next month or so.

We do have to wait for the formal letter of approval from the DHHS so we won't be jumping ahead too far until we have that all important piece of paper.

Today we visited Launceston for our final mandatory parenting seminar - Attachment Disorders with Debra Tatum. This was a marvelous insight into the variables of potential attachment issues institutionalized kids can suffer from. Debra is a very experienced, widely acknowledged expert in this field and deals with kids everyday. She is an American based half of the year in Melbourne and has offered her services in person and via email should we ever have any need to avail of her knowledge. Such a lovely lady.

As much as we read on this subject, it still has more of an effect when we hear it from the mouth of an experienced child psychologist. Debra gave thorough explanations on how to make sure we know what signs to look for, how to manage and assist the individual child's needs within a clear framework of stability and firm discipline to help them to understand that they can trust us to not disrupt their little lives again.

It's heartbreaking to hear some of the stories of what children suffer from and why but it does help to ground us in the reality that whilst this might be an exciting and happy time for us, it will more than likely a frightening and foreign experience for our future child, at least in the short term.

The reality that we cannot rush around with our child to meet all of the family and friends immediately when we get home -- we have been aware of this for some time however I guess the main difficulty here will be helping our family and friends to understand that our child will need some time to adjust to us as his/her parents before we introduce new people.

The reality of this is that if we did let everyone hold him/her, introducing a host of new faces at a time when he/she still doesn't speak the language, has no concept of who we are exactly just yet (apart from just another new set of caregivers), a completely foreign culture, smells, foods, sounds etc etc ... well, it could just blow them out of the water and make the transition that much more traumatic for our child.

So, for the first 3 - 6 months - or as long as they need until we think the attachment/bond is sufficiently strong in that he/she knows we are 'mummy and daddy' and not just another face who looks after them - we won't be having visitors or visiting others, only we will feed and tend to their needs etc etc.

I hope this doesn't upset anyone and that they make an effort to understand why this is so important for our child and for our family. If they do not understand, well, I'm afraid that is unfortunate but cannot be helped.

Pattaya Orphanage Video

2007-03-28T00:35:00.000+10:00

Scouring youtube.com as I do every now and then I came across this video tonight after work. It is a video taken of the Pattaya Orphanage in Thailand.

The kids and their giggles and laughter and mischievousness would melt the hardest heart ...

Nappy-free baby.

2007-03-21T18:38:00.000+11:00

Scott and I are big supporters of the need to research all of the different ways of doing things before we make a decision ourselves about what we consider to be the 'right way' for us. It is this habit that led me to an interesting site about how to have a Nappy-free baby.

I found it very interesting to read about this little known & rarely practiced way to be rid of nappies, right from the baby's very first day in the world and the thoughts behind why it is done.

The author of the website poses the thought that "right from birth (babies) have a natural awareness of when they eliminate - hence babies who pee as soon as their nappy comes off. They want to eliminate away from their bodies, and try to let us know to help them."

Using this technique alongside of baby sign language to teach the baby what sign to use when they need to go wees or poos, the author of the website had her little man using the potty independently at 16 months old. Pretty amazing considering many children won't potty train until they are between 24 & 36 months old.

I'm intrigued!

Milk Men.

2007-03-17T21:11:00.000+11:00

Ok. So here's something a little left of centre. Did you know that men can breastfeed babies too?

(very elongated pause)

Want to see a video? Have I piqued your curiosity?

Watch the video.

Baby thoughts.

2007-03-16T23:15:00.000+11:00

A couple of weeks ago I allowed myself to go visit a baby store. Funnily enough, despite my desire to be a mum I have never visited one of these interesting stores. Perhaps I was just holding back until it became a little more real.

Anyhow, off I went to see what things there were to buy for our baby and wow! there is so much stuff available. I was dazzled to find that there are multitudes of different types of nappies (not just cloth or disposable but many variations on both and tonnes of ecologically sound options too). I've had a girlfriend of mine (who has three boys under 3) telling me that I should be thinking about what type of nappies we'll be using therefore I was fascinated to discover we have so many different choices.

She also recommended we think about our choices with:

whether to offer a dummy (aka pacifier to Americans)
front sling or backpack for carrying the babe
use a bassinet, cot or co-sleep
nappy change table or change mat
vegetarian baby or meat-eater (we are vegetarian)

... and all sorts of other interesting things you don't tend to think about unless you're planning for a child.

I might be jumping ahead here but we've already decided that we'll start reading to our child as soon as they come home (storybooks not encyclopedias!), take regular bushwalks with the baby in a carrying sling to familiarize them with the area we live in and give them lots of fresh air, make our own baby food, home-school them (when they get to school age) and breastfeed.

Yes, adoptive mums can breastfeed so the research tells me. I've been discussing this one with my girlfriends recently - most of whom are breastfeeding themselves right now. At first, I was a bit weirded-out about the whole adoptive breastfeeding scenario until I started researching the practicalities of it. Did you know that western cultures are the only cultures that don't widely practice breastfeeding of a child that is not biologically your own? Well, you might have known that but I sure didn't. Anyhow, in Tasmanian we have a very experienced and well-known lactation consultant living right here in our very own state. One of my girlfriends has received assistance from this particular lady herself and sings her praises so I will shortly be going along to the consultant for some advice.

I was surprised to hear that all of my girlfriends, my mum and my husband are very supportive of adoptive breastfeeding. I honestly thought it would just weird people out. I was (happily) wrong!

To try and get a grasp on the reality of being a parent, I sometimes look around at babies and toddlers that I come into contact with and imagine how it will feel to have someone of that size and needs level to care for 24/7. It's a tough one to actually know though. Right now, it's intrinsically a part of us that we only have to look out for each other, we can drop everything and go do whatever comes to mind, no schedules to keep (apart from work) and we can reason with each other using adult logic therefore have no need for negotiating the workings of little minds who just want what they want and now! Except for our dog who is somewhat of a perpetual child himself of course. There's just no reasoning with a dog.

Tiny Houses.

2007-03-15T22:08:00.000+11:00

Every now and then I change my mind about whether or not I really want to 'buy' a house to own. Scott and I are currently renting a beautiful old church that has been renovated into a house. It's got such lovely atmosphere that we're reluctant to leave it so we rarely ever seriously contemplate buying somewhere else. It's just not that important to us and it would be hard to leave this house.

Recently however I have been looking. Window shopping. Just to see what houses are out there in the areas that we like most in Tasmania. Every now and then some interesting, character-filled houses jump out at me.

Today I was browsing the blogs on realestate.com.au.

This really cute idea came up on one of the "Out There" blog entries and if you're interested in different kinds of houses, as I am, you may find it fun to read about "Tiny Houses". You can also see the audio/visual slideshow by visiting here.

Boy Babies Everywhere!

2007-03-07T22:47:00.000+11:00

Quite a few of my girlfriends have all given birth recently - all in the last 2 months with three of them just in the last week. All boys ... ALL of them!

What's going on??

So far we have Xavier, Taj, Jed, Oliver, Angus, Samuel ... is it in the water? At this rate, our mother's meetings will have a bunch of rambunctious boys and no sweet little girls. They are all little sweethearts of course.

So bizarre!

TeeHee Monkey Cafepress shop.

2007-03-01T05:38:00.000+11:00

Recently, quite a lot of people have been asking us "have you heard any news?", "what date does your baby arrive?" and similar. It's a fair question. No-one, least of all us, knows the answer to it though so most of the time I just tell people that it can be up to 2 years before our child is referred to us and before we meet them.

Thinking about this a little, and how often these questions are asked of adoptive parents (it seems we are not alone), this evening I've been playing around with a Cafepress online shop.

If you're not sure what a Cafepress shop is ... you can create your own t-shirts, caps, baby clothes, stickers and other items by uploading pictures to be scanned/printed and then you can either just buy those items you've created or you can sell them in a Cafepress shop.

So I've created a few different items to keep our friends and family up-to-date about what stage of the process we are currently at with our adoption, one or two things for our baby to wear and various other things - just for fun.

The shop is called "TeeHee Monkey" and you can visit it here ...

Adoption Update: Tote Bag with Poem : Adoption Update: Nope, no news (or baby) yet. Thanks for asking! :) Poem on reverse of tote : "The adoptive parent is 'pregnant' in a way that you can't see, They wait and hope and dream and wish, to hold their beloved child to be. xoxo" BUY ME? Click.

Adoption Update: Trucker Hat : Adoption Update: Nope, no news (or baby) yet. Thanks for asking! :) BUY ME? Click.

Do you I'm cute? Kids T-Shirt: Do you think I'm cute? Well punk, do ya? Back of shirt: It's ok, I get it. I'm to cute for words (pinching my cheeks is not an option) BUY ME? Click.

Cuter Than a Monkey Infant/Toddler Shirt OR One-sie: Cuter than a monkey swingin' in a tree, hey mummy & daddy betcha can't catch ME! The shirt for little movers. BUY ME? Click.

Bubs Bib: Dribble dribble Little one, Being clean is just no fun. BUY ME? Click.

Are you a Thai adoptive parent or future parent?

2007-02-26T00:09:00.000+11:00

Hi,

In the interest of providing a wide range of information about Thai adoption and local Tasmanian adoption to those visiting my blog and, in particular, couples who are adopting from Thailand, please feel free to send me an email with a link to your blog or website and I will add them to my links section.

Kim

Melaka of Malaysia

2007-02-25T00:04:00.000+11:00

This evening Scott and I had the most wonderful experience dining locally in a fantastic restaurant not 15 minutes from where we live.

No ordinary restaurant, Melaka, located in Franklin, Tasmania, is more of an experience than your garden variety night of dining.

The owner Victor Choo is of Chinese Malaysian descent and is the Owner and Chef. The food is therefore Malaysian also (ok, did I need to say this or did you get it already?!). The decor, from the outside to the inside, features Buddhas, tealights, warm bronze tones and soft lighting and invites you into a friendly and peaceful environment where the staff are happy and engaged with their guests, the Chef is kind and approachable making particular effort with the small, personal detail and the food ..... well, the food is magnificent, full of spices and textures and wonderful fragrances!

If you're down visiting our part of the world, I can honestly say that you will not regret a dining experience with Victor and the Staff of Melaka.

Yum!

A most confronting book & Hienous crimes on children

2007-02-18T23:36:00.000+11:00

As we edge closer to the 'approval' stage of our adoption (approval from the Tasmanian adoption services to be suitable as adoptive parents, that is), I've been busily reading the mandatory books. The first one, "Adoption Parenting, Creating a Toolbox, Building Connections" was an excellent introduction to the many facets of parenting a child who has experienced more sadness and trauma in their first few years of life than most of us will in our entire lifetimes.

It has a lot of examples given by adoptive parents who have been-there-done-that (the BTDT's, as we call them in the adoption community) and provides useful information about the signs we newbies need to be looking out for, useful tools for fostering attachment with a child and all manner of details on all types of attachment disorders. I had no idea there were so many different categories of possibilities but when I got to thinking about it all, it really does make sense to be alert and informed.

Before we started the adoption process, we had no clue and had never thought really about how an adopted child can be affected by loss of the biological parents voice, smells, features and habits let alone loss of a culture, loss of family history, the trauma of upheaval in being moved from caregiver to caregiver (bio parents to foster parents - sometimes more than one set of foster parents - to orphanage to adoptive parents).

When you take a minute to think about that kind of effect on a child's life and compare it to the 'norm' - being born to your parents, knowing your parents, siblings and extended family and never needing to feel that you cannot trust them as you have only ever know them and them alone to care for you ... it really does hit home about why children of adoption are traumatized in many and varied ways and can stay that way for the majority of their lives if they are not shown how to 'be in a family', to trust that their parents will feed, clothe and protect them, be reassured that this is not a midway point until their next set of caregivers and so on.

Just the simple fact that a child who has spent any amount of time in an orphanage or social welfare institute may not know what it means to be part of a family and therefore doesn't have the skills to know how to interact when placed in a loving family.

That is the one thing that made me sit up and take notice and then to read more. Scott and I spend a lot of time these days just talking back and forward about the different methods for combating this possibility so that our child will grow into their teenage years and then into adulthood knowing how to interact on a relationship level with other people.

Can you imagine if you were born, placed for adoption and lived in an orphanage, moved to an adoptive family and no-one ever took the time or care to demonstrate to you, in a practical fashion, how a family loves each other, takes care of each other, shows affection, provides a safe haven in the home and the knowledge that no matter who the child grew up to be, no matter what choices they make, no matter how many mistakes they might make, that they will be able to turn to the safety of their family without fear of being cast out again?

This base level knowledge that the majority of us have as part of who we are is learned behaviour simply due to the fact that this is all we have ever known.

In the same way, a child who has lived a little or a lot of their life in an orphanage doesn't know anything but the survival instincts of those who have to compete for the attention of very few carers looking after a whole lot of kids, maybe they have to even compete for warmth and food depending on the standard of the orphanage.

The second book that is mandatory reading for us is "Attaching in Adoption - Practical tools for today's parents". This is the confronting book that the subject alludes to. There is a different depth to this book that can be a little scary in that it recalls real life children's experiences, including physical abuse, emotional and mental abuse, abuse by family members, by foster parents, multiple placements, extreme anger and severe disassociation disorders as a result of those crimes against children.

Some of these are going to be rare in the adoption community as thankfully not everyone's a predatory family member abusing a child from toddler years to early teens but it does give me insight into the possible traumas our child may have suffered prior to adoption.

Some days I just had to put the book down and walk away. I even found that one particular day, when the news was telling of the Romanian orphans living under the ground near drains and pipes, I was reading in this book a particularly grim experience a child had been subject to &, later that day if that wasn't enough, ended up talking to a mother of a child who had been abused for quite some time in their younger years. The mother was in complete denial about the seriousness of this and the severe effects on her child (now a very depressed and lonely individual). It was all I could do not to bellow at her to 'wake up woman!' and I found myself quite aggravated and immensely sad at the denial a human being is capable of, even when a family member is involved it still doesn't hit home that they must be there to do everything within their power to help address the effects of the abuse.

Normally, I am quite a positive person, with much to be happy about I don't have much cause for sadness. That day it took me quite a few hours to resolve the frustration and anger I felt. Even now, I just have to think of the conversation and tears come to my eyes.

It just goes to show, parents must keep their eyes and ears open for signs (and if you don't know what they are, read about them and find out!) that their child has suffered or is suffering some form of abuse, even from family members, as hard and as despicable as that is to stomach.

I know parents around the world have said this, in their millions, but if anyone, family or otherwise ever, ever contemplates this crime upon one of our children, or even a child that I know that is not my own, they should think again. Their life will not be worth living.

Living in Thailand

2007-02-14T23:46:00.000+11:00

My quest to "get to know Thailand" seems to be taking up a lot of hours recently. What with visiting blogs by expats living out their retirement, or even just their lives, Thai locals, adoption blogs, Thai forums and the like, everyday I learn just a little more about what real life in various parts of Thailand is like. Albeit, there are many, many different points of view.

This evening I stumbled across one such blog, written by an expat now living in the north of Thailand, in Isan. Formerly of the US of A, this fellow now lives contentedly as a university professor in Thailand and, from the posts in his blog, seems to be all the better for it.

In the last week I've also been looking at different types of accommodation in Thailand, the ins and outs of buying houses, renting condos, where to stay for shorter trips and so on and so forth, to garner a better idea of the reality of Scott and I living there in future.

It does seem, on the whole, that an Aussie earning Aussie dollars would quite easily and cheaply survive a lot longer on the same amount of money in Thailand than in Australia. Most Aussies are aware of the existing expats in Thailand, it's not so unusual anymore I guess.

Nevertheless, it is enticing, especially since it is most likely our child will have been born there, if we aren't allocated a local child before Thailand refers us a Thai child. Either way, we both have the stirrings of interest there and will more than likely 'go Thai' in a couple of years time for about 3-6 months or so, all things being equal.

We do have to consider Scott's 80 year old mum who we have plans to have come and live with us. There is absolutely no way on this earth that Colleen will ever get on a plane, let alone a plane for 9 hours or so! Therefore, we need to factor this in. All in all, what happens will happen and eventually we will live in Thailand for an extended period of time, whether it's now or in the future ... *shrug*, who knows?

Second last homestudy meeting completed + Animals in our house.

2007-02-13T22:28:00.000+11:00

Today was our second to last (we're almost sure!) homestudy meeting with *J*. We've now completed one half of our country project also, a children's storybook, and are 99% finished with the other half of the project, a Life-book for our child on all that we have learnt about Thailand that we and our child can add things to as he/she grows.

I must admit, at the start of our homestudies in January I really expected that it would take much longer than we thought however now that I look back it is only mid February and therefore a month a half since we started! The last meeting will be on the 19th of March due to a few commitments on both sides in-between so all up it will have taken 2 and a half months - pretty great! There may be a need for another, should *J* decide she needs to know a few more things however she does not anticipate this, I think.

From right now we'll be using our time effectively to safeguard our house and yard a little more for little people, prepare our profile for local adoption, gather up all of the copies of various documents we'll need to submit our file to Thailand after formal approval (assuming, of course, that we are approved - please don't let it be the other one) and attempting to convince our border collie Josh about the value of sharing and the pointlessness of jealousy.

About the dog ... Josh is a very soft border collie, who, if he were a person, would be quite easily frightened and a pitiful sad sack if not given a certain amount of attention. On the other hand, he can be quite the little bugger if he doesn't get his own way about things and is fairly tenacious if he really wants something. Josh tends towards obstinance in doing things even though he is specifically told not to. Looking at the positives, you have never seen a more loving creature and if you come to visit, he's beside himself with excitement as, naturally, you've come especially to see him. He does that border-collie paw thing too and the head-on-the-lap thing. So cute.

We have quite a new addition to our little household in the form of a very skinny, very deprived, fluffy tabby cat. He decided to visit one afternoon and nearly got trod on, as I arrived home from work and got out of the car, in his desperate need for some serious rubbing and food, NOW! Poor little boy, he was so skinny his bones were clearly evident despite being really fluffy. He now comes to our house for a cuddle and a lot of food and milk every evening as he sees the car drive in. He knows a good thing, not to mention a couple of softies, when he sees it.

Josh isn't too sure about how a cat fits into our household. He's always been 'the one' and the only and now that he's five years old, we hope he's not too set in his ways. Despite the fact that the kitty was eating cat food, Josh really was quite confused when he was stopped from eating it too and took a little pretend-to-be-threatening lunge at the puddy (it's all for show).

Cat is not too worried, he's seen it all before and just keeps his distance. This is a little cat and Josh is a big hairy dog so the cat knows his stuff. I'm waiting for the day when Josh gets a little too pushy and the cat gives him a big swipe across the nose. That's going to really freak old Josh out and put him in his place. He's a lover, not a fighter.

It does make me wonder how long it's going to take him to realize that the child we bring home is not sleeping outside. And that he, Josh, will be. He probably won't talk to us for a month. Dogs are so much like people. He sulks better than anyone I've ever seen.

Anyhow, it's getting quite exciting for us now. We're probably nowhere near being referred a child but it does put us closer to that time just by having the homestudy nearly completed and docs off to Thailand in the next couple of months.

Slowly but steadily we're getting there.

Who has the cutest doggie?

2007-02-13T00:22:00.000+11:00

I was visiting another blog tonight who claimed to have the cutest doggie so I thought to myself, hmmm, I thought WE had the cutest doggie ever! So, what do you think?

Cheeky Farang

2007-02-12T02:21:00.000+11:00

I've been a member of a Thai forum for a while now and thoroughly enjoy reading about different perspectives of those farangs (foreigners) living in Thailand, often with their very own Thai wives (bless their sweet natures!).

There is one guy in particular, the gruff and funny "Cheeky Farang" as he calls himself, talks about his and his wife's life in a small Thai village, a couple of hundred kilometres outside of Bangkok.

You may enjoy reading his take on life but beware, if you're not fond of swearing and a little directness, then this ain't for you ...

2007-02-09T20:25:00.000+11:00

From: Thai Photo Blogs

"Ashrita Furman (R) of the U.S. holds a tiger on a leash, at the start of a world record attempt, while skipping at the Tiger Temple in Kanchanaburi province, 120km (75 miles) northwest of Bangkok, February 4, 2007. Furman, 53, officially won a place in the Guinness Book of World Records on Sunday by skipping 5 km (3.1 miles) in 35 minutes and 19 seconds at Tiger Temple in Kanchanaburi province, some 150 km west of Bangkok. To make the attempt more interesting, Furman skipped the first 100m and 75m of the last 100m holding the tiger. Photo taken February 4, 2007. REUTERS/Sukree Sukplang"

Ahhh, the Thai dedication to 'sanook' (rough translation: Fun). There is a great Thai saying that goes like this, paraphrasing here, "If something is not fun, then why do it?"

The source of this info, and the piggys below, is a blog called Thai Photo Blogs, full of excellent and often hilarious info provided a farang (foreigner) living in Thailand. It gives an insight into life in Thailand at base level, not just the stuff you hear on the news at night.

2007-02-09T19:06:00.000+11:00

From: Thai Photo Blogs

"In this photo released by China's Xinhua news agency, a dozen of Dongba pigs from Thailand, which are said to be small and agile, compete in a swimming game at a park in Nanchang, in east China's Jiangxi province, on Saturday February 3, 2007."

So cute.

Last day of Seminar.

2007-02-05T12:23:00.000+11:00

The last day of our first seminar has been really great. You don't realize just how much you *don't* know about parenting until you go along to a seminar such as this one.

I especially enjoyed sitting with the other participants and discussing different responses to a set of questions we were asked as it showed that these guys are really active, involved and thoughtful parents. Naturally, there are differences in how people would handle things but ultimately we're all there for the same reason - our future kids.

Now, for us, it's on to our fourth caseworker meeting on the 13th of February and then hopefully just one more after that and then it's time to get our file off to Thailand and our local profile done.

The country project has been absolutely the most fun part of this experience thus far. We now have about 90% completed and will have the rest done in the next two weeks before our fourth homestudy meeting arrives. We actually ended up doing two projects but I think one is going to be kept more specifically just for our child to see - haven't quite made up our minds yet.

To all of our Adoption e-group ... it was great to meet you all. We have learnt so much from you already and hope to get to know you and your current and future children as time goes by.

Scotty & Kim

3rd Homestudy meeting complete. Seminar attended.

2007-02-03T20:42:00.000+11:00

We've now finished the 3rd homestudy meeting with our caseworker and we are making real headway now. This third meeting has brought up some interesting topics that Scott and I have been discussing ever since. We're finding the meetings to be quite fun in addition to being very effective tools in preparation for adoption of our child.

It's quite amazing - we started off thinking this is all going to be very straightforward and obvious, we'd been discussing the different facets of adoption, reading books and making contact with other adoptive parents and parents-in-progress, doing projects and study on the country from where our child will come and ensuring that we are aware of all of the different issues that adoption can bring and end up mid-way through the process learning even more than you ever thought possible.

I'd have to say that we consider ourselves *very* fortunate to have met the people we've met who've shared their wealth of experience with us. It's been fantastic to meet other parents-to-be who are going through the process alongside of us too.

Today we were involved in a learning seminar, as one of seven couples, where we met several families who already have their children home from various countries such as China, India and Korea. These parents and children have overcome multiple difficulties, extremely stressful circumstances and unexpected, unplanned curves in the road.

I know myself that listening to these people, in particular the parents of a delightful young Indian girl, Louise and Louis, and the parents of a sprightly little Indian boy, Veronica and Henry, have had a huge impact on both Scott and myself.

When faced with such trying times as these families were, their spirit and determination to learning all that they could, asking for help to get everyone through to the 'other side' shows a marvellous strength of character.

Parenting an adoptive child is quite different to parenting the biological child who has never been separated from their birth parents, abandoned or fostered out for a time. Parents make the difficult decision to go against everyday parenting skills in order to give their child the needed skills to attach to a brand new family who are, at first, completely foreign to them. This is no small feat as most people assume that parenting one child is just like parenting the next.

The everyday platitudes about parenting that one might hear from well-meaning family and friends often needs to be disregarded when in reference to a child of adoption and this can be confusing and distressing for both the new parents and those giving the advice.

That these adoptive parents, who have been-there-done-that, have been able in the first instance to establish the boundaries with their families and friends, their new child and each other without losing their own sanity is quite amazing.

Our Second Homestudy meeting

2007-01-18T13:40:00.000+11:00

Yesterday was our second homestudy meeting, 17th January '07. It was three hours long but seemed to me to go very quickly indeed. This one involved more indepth discussions/descriptions to allow our caseworker *J* to 'fill out' the profiles of us a little further.

For the second time around, it was a seriously humid day which is quite strange for Tassie given that it's hot, burning hot, in the midst of summer but humidity just doesn't factor in normally. This year it has. Nevertheless, we sat in the humidity trying to attract the attention of the fan for a bit of respite. Today is much more agreeable, weather-wise.

I get the impression that we will most likely have another 4 or so meetings before we are at a finish however *J* was reluctant to put a date-stamp on the home-study completion. I guess we'll just roll with it and see how it goes.

Part of me wants to get it done already! so we can inch (as quick as possible) a little closer to becoming parents together. The other part of me (probably the Scott-influenced part) sees the value in the process and the wait.

Oh yeah, patience is a virtue. Harumph ;)

Our first Homestudy meeting

2007-01-07T13:29:00.000+11:00

Our first homestudy meeting with *J* on the 4th of January is now completed and we are headed onto our second meeting on the 17th January.

It was great to meet and we had such a lovely get-to-know-you chat, handed over all of our "All about us" documents that we needed to provide to DHHS so they could start to put together a 'picture' of us and our lives with a view to approval (well, we hope so), asked various questions and found out just how wrong we were on a couple of things!

We had long thought that adopting a child locally in Tasmania may be frought with problems. It seems that this is just not the case and according to *J*, they actually work quite well, especially when the birth mother has contact with the child and their adoptive parents - which is the scenario we would like very much.

Christmas Day. Snow. In Tasmania, Australia.

2006-12-25T21:25:00.000+11:00

There is a tradition that Scott and I have started for our soon-to-be family. For the past couple of years, we have been having Christmas lunch at a stone picnic hut in the Hartz Mountains, about 30 minutes south of where we live.

Today was no exception. And to add to the festivities, it SNOWED!

I kid you not. In the land of bushfires one day and freezing temps the next, it honest-to-goodness snowed.

2006-12-24T21:13:00.000+11:00

Dedicated with Love to the child of our heart ...

For you, we would walk a million miles,

yet we do not know your name.

Your life may not have even begun

but we love you, already, just the same.

Your heart may not have beat

in time with ours from birth,

yet never would be more perfect a child

In all the children on this earth.

You ask of us … “How long will you love me?

Will your love ever cease?”

Sweet child of ours, we will dedicate our life

to ensure yours will be Happiness and Peace.

Your Parents xxoo

Ho HO HO! Merry Christmas Everyone.

2006-12-23T22:53:00.000+11:00

Once again it's Christmas so let me wish you all the Merriest of times with your family and friends!

Scott and I don't formally celebrate Christmas, as a rule. In the 5 or so years that we've been together, it's only something we celebrate when Scott's daughter, Brit, is with us as Christmas is mostly for kids.

I imagine that the way we celebrate Christmas will change rapidly for us when we have our child home from Thailand. Will this be Christmas 2007?? We certainly hope so but think it will be more like Christmas 2008!

I remember the first Christmas in Tasmania as this was the first Christmas that I got to spend with Brit. We had such a GREAT TIME!! What a perfect excuse to act like a kid ourselves!!! And we DID :)

Brit got so many presents from us, from family, from friends, that at one stage we were sitting in Scott's Mum's loungeroom surrounded on all sides by Brit's presents alone! She was the only kid there for this particular Christmas so we spoilt her rotten. What FUN!

It's things like this that I look forward to as we inch closer and closer to becoming full time parents of our own child. Between our child together and the beautiful Brit we are going to do some SERIOUS!! spoiling. At the end of the day, any sane parent knows that Xmas isn't about presents. But the kids will tell you differently and just you try to have a Xmas with kids and without presents. Your life wouldn't be worth living!

On December 25, have a great time with those that you love. One lifetime is such a short span of time in terms of the many, many lifetimes that make up the universe as we know it.

Cherish. Laugh a Lot. Make Everyone Else Merry too.

This blog needs redecoration.

2006-12-23T21:26:00.000+11:00

Now that we're not adopting from China, I think our blog needs a new background. No more ladybugs.

Stay tuned.
(try to contain your excitement while you wait ...)

1st Homestudy Meeting!

2006-12-21T21:41:00.000+11:00

We now have a date for our first homestudy meeting with our caseworker, *J*! We feel very fortunate as *J* has been immensely helpful (and patient) in answering all of our questions thus far and to have her as our Caseworker is brilliant!

We've filled out all of the documents sent to us to give the DHHS and the Thai Adoption Service a good picture of who we are - it's been pretty interesting actually.

You don't really look at your life "en masse" in one A4, 11 page document, very often and I've got to say that I really enjoyed the discussions that Scott and I had as a result of doing it.

Sooo excited now! This just feels so right.

Next step: Meet with Caseworker 4th January 2007 (still working on Country project)

A family sooner than we expected?

2006-12-18T19:48:00.000+11:00

My heart skipped a beat today. Reading bits and pieces from different sources I have realised that I made a mistake in the timeframe between our dossier going to Thailand and the referral of a child.

We assumed, incorrectly it seems, that it was about 2 to 2.5 years ...

It is 1 to 1.5 years and only sometimes 2 to 2.5 years .. gasp ...

WOW! Now all we need to do is get through our Homestudy with the Caseworker and be approved as prospective adoptive parents. There are many factors involved here in deciding our fate, the specifics of which, in our case, only the Dept. of Health and Human Services, Hobart, are fully aware.

I haven't been nervous so far but today I am. We could (all things being equal) be parents within about 18 months or less!!

Delving deep into our psyche. Oops! No-one home.

2006-12-16T20:12:00.000+11:00

Wow, there is so much paperwork on my desk right now that needs attending to for the caseworker. We received everything in the mail just the other day.

From our family history, our perspective on our upbringing, financial status, relationship status, proposed childrearing tactics, how we handle anger, decision-making, crisis, social and political issues, whether or not we are tidy, tolerance to other culture, ethnicity, beliefs (well ok, that one is obvious), our jobs, our attitude to our jobs ... the list goes on.

I'm a big supporter of this kind of delving, especially when it comes to anything involving kids. It makes a lot of sense.

We have already completed most of the answers to the in-depth questions over a period of 8-9 hours (not all at once) and will soon move onto the country project.

It turns out that we have to create a country project about Thailand to show our understanding of our future child's country of origin. This needs to be in the format of a children's picture storybook and should be a lot of fun to complete together! I'm really looking forward to this one personally and have started compiling the bits and pieces that we will use.

Next step: Create country project and await contact by now allocated Caseworker after Christmas.

The Immense Loss of An Adopted Child ... Walk a Mile in Baby’s Booties

2006-12-15T00:53:00.000+11:00

This is an excellent story to demonstrate the feelings of an adopted child after their initial loss of their birth parents, then the loss of their foster parents while they await adoption. It reveals the importance of the necessary adjustment period just following the adoptive parents arrival home with their new child.

Imagine for a moment ...

You have met the person you've dreamed about all your life. He has every quality that you desire in a spouse. You plan for the wedding, enjoying every free moment with your fiancée. You love his touch, his smell, the way he looks into your eyes. For the first time in your life, you understand what is meant by "soul mate," for this person understands you in a way that no one else does. Your heart beats in rhythm with his. Your emotions are intimately tied to his every joy, his every sorrow.

The wedding comes. It is a happy celebration, but the best part is that you are finally the wife of this wonderful man. You fall asleep that night, exhausted from the day's events, but relaxed and joyful in the knowledge that you are next to the person who loves you more than anyone in the world…the person who will be with you for the rest of your life.

The next morning you wake up, nestled in your partner's arms. You open your eyes and immediately look for his face.

But IT'S NOT HIM! You are in the arms of another man. You recoil in horror. Who is this man? Where is your beloved?

You ask questions of the new man, but it quickly becomes apparent that he doesn't understand you. You search every room in the house, calling and calling for your husband. The new guy follows you around, trying to hug you, pat you on the back,...even trying to stroke your arm, acting like everything is okay.

But you know that nothing is okay. Your beloved is gone. Where is he? Will he return? When? What has happened to him?

Weeks pass. You cry and cry over the loss of your beloved. Sometimes you ache silently, in shock over what has happened. The new guy tries to comfort you. You appreciate his attempts, but he doesn't speak your language-either verbally or emotionally. He doesn't seem to realize the terrible thing that has happened...that your sweetheart is gone.

You find it difficult to sleep. The new guy tries to comfort you at bedtime with soft words and gentle touches, but you avoid him, preferring to sleep alone, away from him and any intimate words or contact.

Months later, you still ache for your beloved, but gradually you are learning to trust this new guy. He's finally learned that you like your coffee black, not doctored up with cream and sugar. Although you still don't understand his bedtime songs, you like the lilt of his voice and take some comfort in it.

More time passes. One morning, you wake up to find a full suitcase sitting next to the front door. You try to ask him about it, but he just takes you by the hand and leads you to the car. You drive and drive and drive. Nothing is familiar. Where are you? Where is he taking you?

You pull up to a large building. He leads you to an elevator and up to a room filled with people. Many are crying. Some are ecstatic with joy. You are confused. And worried.

The man leads you over to the corner. Another man opens his arms and sweeps you up in an embrace. He rubs your back and kisses your cheeks, obviously thrilled to see you.

You are anything but thrilled to see him. Who in the world is he? Where is your beloved? You reach for the man who brought you, but he just smiles (although he seems to be tearing up, which concerns you), pats you on the back, and puts your hand in the hands of the new guy. The new guy picks up your suitcase and leads you to the door. The familiar face starts openly crying, waving and waving as the elevator doors close on you and the new guy.

The new guy drives you to an airport and you follow him, not knowing what else to do. Sometimes you cry, but then the new guy tries to make you smile, so you grin back, wanting to "get along." You board a plane. The flight is long. You sleep a lot, wanting to mentally escape from the situation.

Hours later, the plane touches down. The new guy is very excited and leads you into the airport where dozens of people are there to greet you. Light bulbs flash as your photo is taken again and again. The new guy takes you to another guy who hugs you. Who is this one? You smile at him. Then you are taken to another man who pats your back and kisses your cheek. Then yet another fellow gives you a big hug and messes your hair.

Finally, someone (which guy is this?) pulls you into his arms with the biggest hug you've ever had. He kisses you all over your cheeks and croons to you in some language you've never heard before.

He leads you to a car and drives you to another location. Everything here looks different. The climate is not what you're used to. The smells are strange. Nothing tastes familiar, except for the black coffee. You wonder if someone told him that you like your coffee black.

You find it nearly impossible to sleep. Sometimes you lie in bed for hours, staring into the blackness, furious with your husband for leaving you, yet aching from the loss. The new guy checks on you. He seems concerned and tries to comfort you with soft words and a mug of warm milk. You turn away, pretending to go to asleep.

People come to the house. You can feel the anxiety start to bubble over as you look into the faces of all the new people. You tightly grasp the new guy's hand. He pulls you closer. People smile and nudge one other, marveling at how quickly you've fallen in love. Strangers reach for you, wanting to be a part of the happiness.

Each time a man hugs you, you wonder if he will be the one to take you away. Just in case, you keep your suitcase packed and ready. Although the man at this house is nice and you're hanging on for dear life, you've learned from experience that men come and go, so you just wait in expectation for the next one to come along.

Each morning, the new guy hands you a cup of coffee and looks at you expectantly. A couple of times the pain and anger for your husband is so great that you lash out, sending hot coffee across the room, causing the new guy to yelp in pain. He just looks at you, bewildered. But most of the time you calmly take the cup. You give him a smile. And wait. And wait. And wait.

I got pod-ed.

2006-12-13T00:57:00.000+11:00

Wheeeeeee!!! This is fun. Scott bought me an iPod today, the one that plays music and movies. Sooooo much fun that I've been spending all of my time loading this thing up full of tunes and short films. Ah, technology is GRAND! If I had've realized how much fun it was, I would've hinted for one *much* sooner than this ..

Now, can anyone tell me how to create a video podcast of my very own? I really have no idea.

Proof positive - we are not unsavoury.

2006-12-07T13:41:00.000+11:00

Hooray! So far we are not unsavoury. We have been accepted onto the Inter-country Adoption Register and we can continue on through the process of adoption.

There are many baby steps before we get to the actual 'baby' (or child) and the ladies of the DHHS are pictures of kindness and patience as I ask a zillion questions by phone/email.

As much as the upcoming caseworker meetings (about 5 of them I think) are somewhat daunting in nature, I still find myself looking forward to them. After following along with other people's adoptions, their emotions, thoughts and reactions to various milestones, there is obviously a lot to learn between now and, what I will hereby refer to as, "THE DAY".

THE DAY will be the surprise phone call we will eventually receive (all things being equal) from one of the DHHS staff members to give us the fantastic news about a referral of a child.

As Thai adoptions don't come with an expected arrival date, this call will more than likely take us by complete surprise. The wait times can vary quite wildly from what I gather of previous adoptions and can stretch right out to about 2 and a half years. We have been warned in an earlier conversation to be ready for a referral at any time. I'm getting butterflies just thinking about it ...

Next step: To be allocated a Caseworker to undertake the Homestudy. In short, this is for the DHHS to work out whether we are going to be suitable parents in many different ways. Emotionally, practically, financially, realistically!

Never has there ever been a job interview quite like this one.

End of Rain Retreat Ceremony

2006-12-05T13:32:00.000+11:00

I was reading a little back over our yahoo group's discussion of a month or so ago and I remembered that this was talked about. October was the end of the Buddhist Rains Retreat and it sparked a bit of info sharing from group members, as below ...

October marks the end of the Buddhist Rains Retreat
It began in July.
The annual retreat is an essential part of Theravada Buddhism
(95% of Thais are Theravada Buddhists)
The three-month retreat is a traditional time for men and boys to
enter the monastery and it is also the time for all monks to remain
in their temples (Wat) to study the teachings of Buddha.

Various terms are used to describe this three -month period including
Buddhist Lent and Annual Retreat but more commonly, it is known as
the Buddhist Rains Retreat, this classical term being used because it
more accurately describes its origin.

While the Buddha lived and taught in the foothills of the Himalayas
in northern India, there was a three -month rainy season and Buddha
is said to have initiated the retreat at that time.
The end of the retreat is a momentous time and the Thai people will
start celebrating the event at least a week before the big day.
Offerings of practical gifts will be bestowed and a number of parades
and processions held to mark the occasion.
Awg Pahnsa, the name given to this special day is not just a signal
ending the monks retreat but it also signals the end of the rainy
season and a time for the Thai people to start afresh.

This sounds like a story I've heard about the Buddha instituting this
retreat as, due to the rainy season, there are many more insects about
than normal. As Buddhists practice non-harm to all sentient beings, or
they attempt to, as best they can - (humans; animals - whether
large or very, very small; anything with a central nervous system really)
this allowed them to retreat and stop from harming multiple beings.

If you're not familiar with how seriously Buddhists take non-harming,
here's an interesting story. We had a visiting Rinpoche here a couple
of months ago. His name is Lama Zopa Rinpoche. We were travelling home
after a teaching along the highway at night behind Rinpoche, his
attendants and his driver who is a friend of ours. After a while we
passed their car as they were driving very slowly. Tasmania is
reknowned to have a lot of wildlife on/around the highway and as a
result lots of animals are killed accidentally by drivers. Naturally
our friend was trying to prevent this happening with Rinpoche in the
car! There was already quite a few animals that had been hit by drivers
previously and their bodies lay by the side of the road. Rinpoche asked
our friend to stop when he saw a deceased animal and he chanted mantras
and prayers for the animal's rebirth into their next (and better!)
life. This happened, as you can imagine, quite a few times along the
highway before they actually reached home. What was normally a 20
minute drive took well over an hour. Such is the life of a Lama, whose
compassion for humans and animals alike knows no bounds.

This may sound somewhat strange if you are not familiar with this
practice.

The way we think about it, as it was just as strange to us at
first, is that if it were *you* lying beside the road after being hit by
a car, would you not want someone to honor your life and wish you
well. Or would it seem right if they just left you there without thought
or word because you were already deceased.

That's how important all living beings are.

Oh my!! Hahaha.

2006-12-04T23:10:00.000+11:00

This is the BEST belly-laugh I've ever heard.

Dinner Laughter

2006-12-04T23:05:00.000+11:00

Get ready to wet yourself with laughter ... what a cute pair!

Our Application is IN!

2006-12-04T18:01:00.000+11:00

We have formally applied to adopt as of today! There were a lot of docs to submit but we had to wait until we had our wedding certificate to actually give them to the DHHS as they wouldn't allow us to formally apply until we were wed.

Yeeeeah!!

Next step: DHHS (Dept. of Health and Human Services for all you non-Tasmanians) will do a check on us in their government database to make sure we're not unsavoury characters and then we will pay our application fees and be allocated a caseworker for complete our homestudy.

Shortly after that, in early Jan or Feb 2007, there is a mandatory Adoption Workshop that we must attend.

See you on the other side of the paperwork ....